Dear family,

You're all a bunch of scrooges. And don't complain about how the house is decorated once I'm done. If I'm the only one who's going to do it then it's going to be done my way. Oh, and Dad, please get on with moving that damn TV and putting the tree there. You keep saying you're going to do it but you don't and I can't decorate the tree until it's in place. Is it really that difficult to stop playing your computer game for two minutes?

I hope you know you're all getting coal this year.