It seems clear to me now that TGI Fridays is conspiring against me. Last time I was there they forgot my meal and had to quickly cook it while everyone else was eating. This time they forgot my starter. I didn't bother to mention it cos it wasn't that important.

Now, why would they be picking on me? Ah, well TGI Fridays, like many franchises, is American. But more than that, they make a big deal of it. Therefore I think it is safe to say that their Americanism is significant rather than just the place where the first guy happened to be when he came up with the idea.

And everyone who knows me knows my opinion of America. It is, shall we say, less than favourable. And everyone everywhere knows America's opinion of people who don't support it. It is, shall we say, disturbing.

All this brings me to my conclusion, which I feel is completely reasonable, America is out to get me. And they are doing this by messing with my food orders. Soon they may up their campaign and start on the fizzy drinks. The real time to worry is when they set Hollywood on me though. TV and film can be quite dangerous.