I met up with Karoline and Rebecca on Thursday. We talked about what we're going to do and I ended up getting bumped from patriarchy to marriage. Fine, I thought, I can do that. It was only much later that I realised the order of the subjects means I'm going to have to go first. This led to much swearing on my part.
The very thought if it makes me feel ill and it's not unlikely that I will end up running out of the classroom to be sick. Or maybe I'll just start crying in front of everyone.
I'm considering not going, but I have to in order to give Karoline her books back. And I'll probably end up having to do a different one anyway.
I really don't belong at university. It's all about class participation and I'm really not good at that. I'm the one who sits quietly and observes everything rather than actually taking part. I have to start working on my essay soon too, that's not fun. And since I'm probably going to fail the exams anyway I wonder what the point is.