Caroline (crystalcazzie) wrote,

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Oscars 2017

I opted for sleep last night, so welcome to my not-quite-liveblog of the Oscars as I watch my recording. I've been very good about not looking at my phone or listening to the radio or going anywhere that could spoil me, so I'm watching as though it's being shown for the very first time:

The Sky studio panel are talking about Supporting Actor first. Panel are with me and Emma that Mahershala Ali has it in the bag.

And here we go...

Ooh, I like this. A chance to see more of the theatre that I never usually see when watching at home. Smart move too, get everyone up and dancing and in a good mood to start off with.

I don't really know Jimmy Kimmel so I'm not sure what to expect from him.

The highly overrated Meryl Streep, lol. Ok, I'm liking Jimmy Kimmel. And I thought that was a very good opening monologue. Political enough to satisfy but not too in your face about it. And mostly focused on the actors there.

Did Dev Patel bring his mother? That's so sweet.

Supporting Actor is announced and it's points for Emma and me. Oh, they get to keep the envelope too?

Kate McKinnon looks gooood. We didn't predict these awards so I have no idea who I want to win. Based on the nominations shown, Star Trek Beyond should get the Make Up award. But it doesn't, Suicide Squad does. Seriously? For Costume I'd go with Florence Foster Jenkins, but it goes to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them. Aww, she looks so overwhelmed! And kinda lost.

We're back in the Sky studio and it looks like Anna Smith has wine while everyone else has water. Interesting...

Fabulous entrance by Janelle Monae, Taraji P Henson, and Octavia Spencer there. Ahh, they have the real Katherine Johnson. And people love it.

Ooh, Lin-Manuel Miranda. Is Auli'i Cravalho really only 16? I love her dress and I'm so jealous of her hair. Also her amazing singing voice. I'm not sure about the song itself though, which surprises me. It's good but feels like it's just missing something.

The OJ film is over seven hours long? How is that a film and not a TV series?

Sweets falling from the sky! That's so cool. And the actors all look so happy about it! I wonder how this compares to Ellen's pizza delivery?

Ah, the sound awards. Arrival wins one and Hacksaw Ridge wins the other. I'm so happy for Kevin O'Connell finally winning after 21 nominations! His kids who he's thanking now must have been babies when he was first nominated!

Best Supporting Actress coming up. Once again Emma and I are in agreement, and the panel also thinks it'll be Viola Davis.

Oh, but first we have a bit about the honorary awards handed out earlier. The winners all get to sit in a special box at this ceremony and Jackie Chan has a unicef panda sitting next to him! I love it!

Ok, now it really is Supporting Actress. Ooh, getting a bit political there Mark Rylance. And the Oscar goes to Viola Davis. Her speech is a bit of an epic. I thought they got played off after a while? Maybe they don't do that to the big winners.

They're going to surprise a group of tourists by putting them on live TV in front of a worldwide audience? That sounds horrendous.

Best Foreign Film. I bet it goes to the Iranian film cos the travel ban meant the director couldn't go to the ceremony (although I think he can now, but chose not to out of principle.) And it does. And the speech is political, no surprise there.

Hey, Dev Patel. UK represent!

Now they're playing the third nominee for Best Original Song. Wait, what was the first? Is that Justin Timberlake song a nominee? Shows how much attention I pay to these things. Sorry, Sting, but this doesn't deserve to win.

Best Animated Feature is coming up. The panel aren't sure about it but are leaning towards Zootopia. That's my pick, while Emma, Paul, and the Random Number Generator have all gone for Moana. Also, I'm glad to discover that Zootopia/Zootropolis is a US/UK naming difference. I thought I was going crazy not remembering what the film was actually called!

Hailee Steinfeld looking very pretty in that dress. It's Animated Short first so I have no horse in this race. Wait, is Hailee's dress see through? That might change my opinion on it. Animated Feature now and it's a win for Zootopia! I'm in the lead!

It's 50 Shades of Grey! Did she raid a museum exhibit for her dress?

Was Jimmy serious about the tourists going in? Cos they've been just outside the door for a long time if so.

Production Deisgn - La La Land.

Ok, we're back with the tourists and they're being let in. I am still not sure how I feel about this, but I am amused by the one guy who really doesn't seem to care that he's meeting all these famous people!

Felicity Jones and Riz Ahmed. More Brits!

Visual Effects - The Jungle Book.

Talking about Back to the Future now. I watched bits of that yesterday. Ah, but they're not future shoes any more, are they? They're past shoes now. Shoes from that amazing futuristic world of 2015.

Film Editing. The panel said that whoever wins this usually goes on to win Best Picture so I'm rooting for La La Land. But it's Hacksaw Ridge. Interesting.

Lol, the panel still can't get over Oscar-winning film Suicide Squad.

Some shorts now, which I only really care about cos David Oyelowo is presenting and that's another Brit on stage!

Bored child in the audience there. It's ok, child, you're nearly halfway through. I think. Jimmy Kimmel is Tweeting the president. Ok.

John Cho looking very dapper. Leslie Mann's dress has exploded. They're there for the Science and Technical awards, which were presented earlier and I'm loving them both. Definitely one of my favourite bits so far.

Cinematography coming up. Panel say La La Land. Also, Jimmy's tweet to Trump as 137,000 retweets already...

Meryl's dress has trousers!

La La Land wins Cinematography.

I don't think that the dog looking like Tilda Swinton is a mean tweet. It's an honour to have a dog that looks like you!

La La Land songs. Was that just City of Stars or both melded together? I think it was both. I don't even know these songs!

Panel talking about Original Song. They think City of Stars.

Original Score is first. We didn't predict on this one. La La Land wins and Samuel L Jackson doesn't seem impressed.

I'd like ScarJo's dress a lot more if it weren't sheer.

Original Song - City of Stars. Points for me and the Random Number Generator, which gets its first point of the night.

It's In Memoriam time! This is going to last forever. Jennifer Aniston talking about Bill Paxton and already crying. Both Sides Now, interesting song choice. And I don't really like what Sara Bareilles is doing to it. But I do like that they ended the montage with Carrie Fisher saying "May the Force be with you."

Original Screenplay coming up. Emma, Paul, and I all say La La Land, but the panel are going for Manchester by the Sea. They're also going for Moonlight for Adapted Screenplay, which is my pick too. Emma and Paul have gone for Fences.

Jimmy roasting Matt Damon even more. I like this cos it also shows how ridiculous those ~my inspiration~ bits really are. And now Jimmy's playing Matt off stage.

Best Original Screenplay goes to Manchester by the Sea. No points all round and my first incorrect prediction of the night. Damn, I was starting to think I had a chance to pull off a clean sweep here (although I think I'm probably wrong with Best Actor too.)

I've also realised that I can't lose our predictions game at this point, only tie for first place.

Best Adapted Screenplay - Moonlight. And with that I've won! Even if I get everything else wrong I'll still have the most points. Yay!

Release the cake and doughnuts! The people there seem more excited for these than any of the other things that have dropped from the sky so far!

Best Director - panel think it'll be Damien Chezzelle but they don't want it to be. But it is. Points for Emma and me!

Best Actor, panel are split between Casey and Denzel. And they all think Emma Stone for Best Actress.

Brie Larson's dress looks like it's ripped and the tattered remains are trailing behind her.

Have those weird crystal Oscar things always been back there?

Best Actor - Casey Affleck. I'm not surprised. I very nearly went for him but decided to be different and hope that Denzel Washington could get it.

Paul has broken his duck and scored his first point of the night! But he's still losing to the Random Number Generator...

Best Actress - Emma Stone. Yay! I do love Emma Stone. Also, it means more points for Emma and me.

Only one more award to go. Panel think it'll be La La Land. Emma, Paul and I agree.

Bonnie and Clyde are presenting.

And Best Picture goes to... La La Land.

But wait, there are people in headsets running on to the stage and grabbing envelopes. Did they get it wrong?

Yes, yes they did. Best Picture goes to Moonlight! Wow, that's embarrassing. At least it happened with the big group. I can't imagine how awful it would feel if you won an individual Oscar, went up and gave your speech only to be told you actually lost.

Final Results:

Caroline: 7/10
Emma: 5/10
Random Number Generator: 2/10
Paul: 1/10

Woot! I'm the Oscars champion!
Tags: oscars

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