Caroline (crystalcazzie) wrote,
Caroline
crystalcazzie

31 Days

It's been exactly a month since Dad died and I know that's a pretty arbitrary milestone, but it still weighed quite heavily on me today. Things weren't helped by the fact that one of my colleagues had set up a static bike ride today to raise money for Macmillan. It's not that I object to the concept of raising money for a cancer charity, of course, but seeing the word 'cancer' all around the place felt like the universe was conspiring to rub my face in it all day.

Then this afternoon I set up the new Sky box that Mum had ordered to replace our one that had been getting rather flaky lately. It didn't have the same RF ports on the back that the old one had, which was a problem cos we'd used them in order to get signal to all the other TVs in the house (not just Sky, the normal digital signal was routed through it as well, so it was pretty important!) I managed to work out what I needed to do to sort it out and felt very proud of myself. But I also almost burst into tears because I kept thinking that Dad would know what to do, if only I could ask him, and it was just another reminder that I'll never be able to ask him anything ever again.
Tags: dad
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