Caroline (crystalcazzie) wrote,
Caroline
crystalcazzie

  • Mood:

I'll Go By Myself Then. Maybe.

Ok, so no one wants to do things with me. That's fine. I'll just disown you all and find new friends. Or maybe I'll build some. Out of Lego and sticky back plastic. :p

So now I'm wondering if I should do the things I mentioned anyway, just by myself. I keep coming back to the 11th Hour convention and wondering if I should just buy a ticket, go on my own and see if I can make friends there. I am very tempted to do it. The trouble is that if I retreat into my shell as usual and fail to make friends then I'm stuck by myself for three days feeling sad and lonely. It's a risk, but maybe one I should take. Of course that may be the alcohol talking.

Yes, I am fairly tipsy right now. It's my parents' wedding anniversary so we've opened a bottle of fizz to celebrate. Mum and I only realised the significance of the day as I was checking the use-by date of my vegetable lasagne when I was trying to decide what to have for dinner. And then this happened:

Mum: 32 years. Murderers get less.
My mind: It can't be 32 years. They got married three years before I was born and... Oh god I'm old.

So... yeah. I'm getting old. I should take risks. I should go to conventions by myself and not be a total loser.

I find it funny and rather pathetic that 'going to conventions by myself' and 'total loser' are apparently opposites in my mind. Oh well.
Tags: anxiety, doctor who, drinking, family, friends, social anxiety
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