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Phone Fail

Today my manager asked me to call some people who've applied for jobs and arrange interviews with them. As I've mentioned before, using the phone is a major source of anxiety for me. But after the initial spike of panic I was, for some strange reason, gripped by foolish optimism. I thought that this could be good for me, that if I could do this I'd gain confidence and be able to use the phone from now on and that would open up more job prospects for me and I could feel good about myself and proud of my accomplishments.

Shame it didn't work out like that. I hope nobody looked into the office while I was pacing around with my hands over my head feeling like I was crawling out of my skin. That would have been difficult to explain.

I did manage to make the calls, which is something of an achievement I suppose. And I think I only sounded like a total idiot on two of them. Of course a lot of people didn't answer so I only actually spoke to a few. I should have left voice messages but I dread to think what panicky jibberish would have resulted if I had.

So... I faced my fears and came away feeling stupid and useless. Good job.

And tomorrow I'm supposed to try again to call the people I didn't get through to today. So I'm looking forward to an evening and night of ever increasing anxiety as that looms closer.


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 17th, 2011 06:31 pm (UTC)
It's not "something" of an achievement--it's absolutely an achievement. I know from personal experience how hard moments like that are. You could've fled, you could've made up an excuse & gone home, but you didn't.
Aug. 21st, 2011 12:17 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I'm feeling a bit better now and trying to think about it more like that. :)
Aug. 17th, 2011 07:42 pm (UTC)
Let's run away and start an independent community on an island. No phones allowed (internet is a yes).

I'll grow copepod free vegetables and everyone will be happy forever and ever.
Aug. 21st, 2011 12:18 pm (UTC)
I heartily approve of this idea! =D
Aug. 17th, 2011 10:35 pm (UTC)
You are not a loser. I'm really proud of you, you tried today and that's far more than not doing it because you didn't want to. Yes, you may have had to work up to it but don't worry. With practice, it will get easier. I recommend writing down the key parts of your message, forcing a smile while you talk and mentally scripting your intro and outro. These are the best things I've found that help me talk to parents when I have to call. Hope that helps, and remember they are not going to judge you - they'll be too busy hoping they get the job.

See you soon and if you need a phone buddy, I have a brand new landline number you can ring and practice on. :)
Aug. 21st, 2011 12:25 pm (UTC)
Thanks. Yeah, I spent quite a while working out how I was going to introduce myself and what I was going to say. I'd got my basics written out, along with answers to questions I thought I might be asked. Unfortunately the first person I talked to said something I wasn't prepared for and I stumbled badly.

You'll have to give me your new number when we next see each other. :)
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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