Who've they got commentating this year? Claudia, of course, Daivd Baddiel, Ronni Ancona and Marc Dolan. Hmm, I'm not sure about these people. At least Stephanie Beecham isn't there again. I don't have to follow through with my threat of jumping through the TV and hitting her over the head. (Although that would have been kinda fun.)
CLAUDIA WINKLEMAN STOP COMPARING HUGH JACKMAN TO RICHARD MADELEY OR I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND HURT YOU AND NOT A JURY IN THE WORLD WOULD CONVICT ME BECAUSE OH MY GOD YOU CAN'T COMPARE THE SEXIEST MAN IN THE WORLD TO RICHARD FUCKING MADELEY. YOU JUST CAN'T. IT IS A CRIME AGAINST ALL THAT IS GOOD AND PURE ON THIS EARTH AND BY EVEN SUGGESTING IT YOU MAKE KITTENS CRY AND RAINBOWS FALL OUT OF THE SKY. DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR SAD KITTENS AND NO RAINBOWS CLAUDIA? NO, NO YOU DON'T. SO SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH YOUR BULLSHIT COMPARISONS THAT MAKE NO FUCKING SENSE.
SERIOUSLY WOMAN. STOP IT.
You know, they're discussing proper Oscar-y things now but I don't even care because Mark Dolan is trying to sound smart and is wearing stupid white shoes and Claudia Winkleman is dead to me.
Apparently the Oscars loves British people. They're showing a load of clips of Brits winning various Oscars, from Julie Andrews to Danny Boyle. And I saw SIR Patrick Stewart there in the audience! He's never won an Oscar, has he? That's shocking.