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Awards

WALL*E won Best Animated Feature. Is there anyone in the world who is surprised by this? Anyone?

We didn't bet on Best Animated Short but looking at the clips I think I want Lavatory Lovestory to win. Because, well, it's called Lavatory Lovestory. But no, La Maison en Petits Cubes won. I have absolutely no idea what either of these films are actually about.

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Obviously America is in an ad break now because Claudia Winkleman, Stephanie Beecham, Danny Wallace and some other guy are discussing what's happened so far. The guys aren't sure Hugh Jackman is right for the Oscars. Stephanie Beecham did not like the opening number. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THESE PEOPLE.

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Art Direction - (We both went for the same choices here, so we'll still be tied either way) - Benjamin Button. No points for us!

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Sarah Jessica Parker's breasts are scaring me.

Costume Design - The Duchess. I have regained my lead!

Makeup - Benjamin Button. We both got a point there, so I'm still ahead.

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EDWARD ROBERT PATTINSON IS ON STAGE! I LOVE HOW HE DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO SHAVE FOR THE OSCARS. HE'S INTRODUCING A ROMANCE MONTAGE. AWWWWW. STALKING IS LOVE, RIGHT?

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Cinematography - Slumdog Millionaire. My lead is gradually increasing.

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Jessica Biel? WTF are you wearing?

Ah, the other guy on the British chat panel is Mark Dolan. Not that it really matters, but I felt I should put it in now I know who he is.

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Best Short Film. Another one we didn't bet on. I see one's about the Nazis though, so that will probably win. And it did. - Spielzeugland.

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