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Insert Joke About London Buses Here

After it took me so long to get the last recap down, I have another following hot on its heels. Two in as many days. Amazing.

Episode 4.10 The Legend



Location: Warehouse of Mourning

*Everybody is sitting around, sad about the loss of their good friend Bellick, who they couldn’t stand not too long ago*

Sucre: Two episodes ago Bellick asked me to call his mother if anything happened to him. Where is his body, anyway?

Self: It’s safe.

Mahone: So you’re going to send him home to his mother, right. Like you promised.

Self: Actually I promised he’d get a decent funeral, which is all he’s getting.

Sucre: *Flies into a rage and attacks Self while shouting in Spanish*

Self: All right, all right! I’ll send him home. And Fernando, if you ever attack me again you’re going to end up the same way as Bellick.

(Me: Oh no you don’t. You don’t threaten my Sucre.)

~*~

Location: Parking garage

Evil Gretchen: Hey, you’re not dead. Also, here are the bird book pages and Scylla is being moved to a bunker in Pennsylvania tomorrow.

Michael: You know an awful lot about what the Evil Company is doing for someone who supposedly doesn’t work for them any more.

Evil Gretchen: Just keeping my ear to the ground.

~*~

Location: General Pad Man’s Office

Lisa: So, we can watch Scylla being moved on this handy monitor.

General Pad Man: Perhaps we should call in David Baker.

Lisa: No, that won’t be necessary.

~*~

Location: Warehouse of Mourning

Sucre: I still need to call Bellick’s mother at some point.

Mahone: Hey, he kept the badge from the police benefit.

Sucre: He always wanted to be a cop. He failed the entrance test five times.

Everyone else: Aww

Michael: I’ve put Evil Gretchen’s pages with the ones we already had to make a complete blueprint. But it’s too simple and the symbols don’t make sense.

Dr Sara: What about the letters?

Michael: They’re a hidden message referring to David Baker.

Sucre: Who the hell would think of something like that other than you?

Michael: Let’s go find him and see.

~*~

Location: GATE

Cleavage of Doom: Here’s your coffee and file on Evil Gretchen

T-Bag: Ooh, her middle name is Louise. And she was born in 1977.

Cleavage of Doom: But nothing linking her to the evil Asian guys.

T-Bag: What about our friends?

Cleavage of Doom: Nope, no Scofield, no Burrows, no Whistler.

T-Bag: Wait just a second, how do you know about Whistler?

Cleavage of Doom: Uh… Michael mentioned him. Right?

T-Bag: Hmm.

~*~

Location: Warehouse

Dr Sara: Found David Baker’s house. Google is awesome.

Self: You still need to get the sixth card.

Lincoln: Really? Wow, never would have guessed.

Michael: Ok, this is the plan… *collapses*

Dr Sara: Hospital. Now.

Mahone: I’ll go see Baker.

~*~

Location: GATE

T-Bag: When did Cleavage of Doom start working here?

Boss Man: About a week before you did.

T-Bag: Think I could look at her application?

Boss Man: Sure, that’s totally reasonable. Oh, and I need you to give a pitch this afternoon.

T-Bag: You expect me to do actual work? Damn, I forgot about that.

*Evil Gretchen pulls T-Bag into his office*

Evil Gretchen: They’re moving Scylla, but it’s not a problem. Have you ever heard of noodling?

T-Bag: I don’t believe so.

Evil Gretchen: Well then, what kind of hillbilly are you, really?

(Me: She really said that line. I love it.)

Evil Gretchen: Noodling is when some idiot sticks his hand in a hole to try and get a prize. Sometimes he gets his prize, sometimes his hand gets cut off. A topic close to your heart.

T-Bag: And you want Scofield to be our noodler.

Cleavage of Doom: *enters* The contractors are here

Lincoln: What’s Evil Gretchen doing here?

T-Bag: Pipe down. Where’s pretty and the fat man?

Sucre: Bellick’s dead and if you joke about it I’ll punch your face in.

~*~

Location: Hospital

Dr Sara: Hi, my husband has been having headaches and collapsing and I’m a bit worried.

Doctor: Do you have insurance?

Dr Sara: Uh… sure.

Doctor: Do you have any family history of neurological disorders?

Michael: That would be a big yes.

~*~

Location: General Pad Man’s Office

Lisa: Hey, looks like it may take a bit longer than planned to more Scylla.

General Pad Man: Time to bring in the Baker man.

~*~

Location: David Baker’s Fancy Glass House

Mahone: I’m here to David about Scylla.

Mrs Baker: Come in then.

David Baker: You with the Evil Company?

Mahone: Yeah, sure. I need to ask you about Scylla.

David Baker: I’m building a futuristic utopian town where people will live in harmony and eat recycled cardboard to save the planet.

Mahone: Good luck with that. Now… Syclla?

~*~

Location: The Tunnels Below GATE

Sucre: You know, Bellick saved my life when T-Bag set fire to Sona. I fell down in the stampede and Bellick pulled me back up.

Lincoln: And yet, up until the previous episode his character was always a stinking coward who only looked out for himself.

*Lincoln and Sucre move through the tunnels into a smooth square room with metal circles dotted around the place.*

Sucre: *Steps on a metal circle, which moves just like a booby trap. Very Indiana Jones*

Lincoln: That didn’t sound good.

~*~

Location: Hospital

Dr Sara: So, it’s weird that you guys are all so sad about Bellick.

(Me: Just what I was thinking.)

Michael: Things have changed since Fox River.

Dr Sara: Oh really? Well, let’s focus on your potentially life threatening condition for now. Soon we’ll know what we’re up against.

Michael: What if I don’t want to know?

Doctor: Well tough luck, cos I’m here to take you for testing.

(Side note: Michael’s alias here is Kevin Freeling. A nice choice for an escaped convict, I feel.)

~*~

Location: David Baker’s Workroom

Mahone: How long have you worked for the Evil Company?

David Baker: Too long.

Mahone: Do you always leave your name behind?

David Baker: Nope, that was special.

Mahone: Well we have the blueprints but we’re still a bit confused.

David Baker: You read the legend, right?

Mahone: Oh, yeah, of course.

David Baker: Liar. You’re not Evil Company at all.

~*~

Location: Smooth Square Room of Doom

Sucre: OhgodI’monamineI’mgonnablowupI’mgonnadie.

Lincoln: Calm down. I have a plan.

*Lincoln leaves. Nice*

Location: T-Bag’s Office in GATE

T-Bag: *Practicing for his big meeting*

Lincoln: *Bursts into the room in a completely unsubtle way to grab Evil Gretchen*

Lincoln: You. Downstairs. Now.

~*~

Location: GATE Meeting Room

T-Bag: *Bullshitting his way to success*

T-Bag: I’m not gonna tell you the tired old stuff you’ve heard a thousand times. I’m gonna tell you a touching story about my good friend Brad who recently passed away.

*T-Bag has flashbacks about nice smiling Bellick. Clearly every character has gone insane in this episode.*

~*~

Location: Hospital

Dr Sara: Uh, I wanted to make sure I had access to your test results so I told the triage nurse that I was your wife.

Michael: Really? Awww.

(Side Note: As other people have pointed out, these two have gone on the run together, she got herself arrested so he could escape recapture, he got himself thrown into a Panamanian prison to protect her and he thought she was dead. I don’t think the mention of marriage is going to freak him out.)

~*~

Location: David Baker’s Workroom

Mahone: You need to help me bring down the Evil Company or your conscience will never be clear and you’ll keep building freak towns to try and make up for it.

David Baker: Hey, I’m fine. It’s all in the past now.

Mrs Baker: *Eavesdropping*

Evil Company Cars: *Drive up to the house*

~*~

Location: Smooth Square Room of Doom

Sucre: Did you know about this?

Evil Gretchen: I have no idea why the Evil Company would want to blow up the room under their own building, so no.

*Evil Gretchen examines the mine under Sucre’s foot*

Evil Gretchen: Wow, your weight is perfectly balanced. You can’t move an inch.

Sucre: I KNOW THAT!

Lincoln: So what’s your plan?

Evil Gretchen: That he move an inch and I quickly try to dismantle the firing pin before it blows.

Sucre: *Panics in Spanish*

Lincoln: What?

Sucre: Call your brother, please.

(Me: Aw, sweet. Sucre trusts his beloved Michael to know what to do.)

~*~

Location: Hospital

Doctor: We want to keep you overnight for observation.

Police: *Are nearby*

Michael: Uh, thanks but no. Let’s get out of here.

Doctor: Look, I know who you are. They’re not here for you. I’m not going to turn you in. My only concern is for your health.

Michael: Sorry, no. Call my wife later.

(Me: Now that’s a good doctor.)

~*~

Location: Self’s Office

Cleavage of Doom: *Enters*

Self: Can I help you?

Cleavage of Doom: I screwed up. I mentioned Whistler. But this is one tough assignment, full of guns and potential death.

Self: You’re a good agent, we can reassign you if you want.

Plot Twist: Ha! Did you see me coming? Huh? Did you? Did you?

~*~

Location: David Baker’s Workroom

Mahone’s phone: *rings*

Lincoln (on phone): We need Michael’s help, Sucre is standing on a mine.

Mahone: *Has gone outside to get a better reception and notices the Black Cars of Evil*

Mahone: Hang on, I’ll call you back.

Lincoln: What part of ‘standing on a mine’ did you not understand?

Mahone: Come, David Baker, we must flee.

David Baker: You can’t stop them. I know all about you, you won’t get past the first wall.

Mahone: Oh and what’s going to stop me? The minefield?

David Baker: Well… yes…

*The Evil Company guys burst into the workroom. Mahone sneaks away but they nab David Baker*

*As Mahone is trying to leave the estate unnoticed, Mrs Baker drives up to him.*

Mrs Baker: Here, take this legend to the blueprint since I know my husband won’t help you.

~*~

Location: Smooth Square Room of Doom

Sucre: Can you try calling Michael again?

Evil Gretchen: Oh, what’s Michael going to know about this? I’m the one with explosives experience.

Sucre: Michael knows everything.

Evil Gretchen: Just trust me. I’m putting myself in danger more than you by leaning my face over the fricking mine in order to disarm it.

Lincoln: You know, she has a point.

~*~

Location: Warehouse

*Either Sucre, Lincoln and Evil Gretchen talk really slowly, or Mahone has mastered instantaneous transport, because he, Sara and Michael are looking over the blueprints and legend.*

Michael: Looks like there’s a line of landmines buried 70 feet from the outer wall and all conventional attempts to disarm them will result in raising Scylla’s alarms.

Mahone: Huh, didn’t I just get a phone call about some sort of mine?

~*~

Location: Smooth Square Room of Doom

*Evil Gretchen is about to do what Michael has just established she definitely shouldn’t*

Mahone: Stop everything! You can’t dismantle the mine without setting off the alarm!

(Me: Ok, this is ridiculous. Is everything in LA a ten second walk from everything else? How did Mahone get there in the time it took for Gretchen to move her hand the few millimetres that she has since the last scene?)

Sucre: So either I set off the alarm or I blow up and die?

Mahone: It’s ok, Michael has figured out what to do.

Sure: Oh, well. If it’s Michael’s plan then I’m on board.

Mahone: There’s a manual override here. I’ve deactivated the mines for twenty seconds, you need to step off now.

Sucre: I’m scared…

Lincoln: It’s ok, step off.

*Sucre does so carefully. I’d have thought he’d have thrown himself as far away from the mine as possible in his current state.*

*Nothing blows up. Yay*

~*~

Location: Warehouse

Michael: Sorry I wasn’t around for your little crisis.

Lincoln: It’s cool. Evil Gretchen showed herself to be useful, so I asked her to get the sixth card for us.

Self: *Enters* All right you whining lot, here you go.

*Two men roll a coffin out of the van and open the lid. Bellick’s body is inside, looking remarkably good for someone who was swept along a hard pipe by fast rushing water for goodness knows how long.*

Everyone: *Gathers around for a mini funeral and is respectful and silent*

Mahone: *Places swiped police badge on Bellick’s chest*

Sucre: His mom will appreciate that.

*The coffin is closed and it’s farewell Bellick*

Sucre: *Dials phone* Mrs Bellick? This is Fernando Sucre…

~*~

Location: GATE

Boss Man: Here’s Cleavage of Doom’s application form.

T-Bag: *Phones number provided as her reference*

Self (on phone): Hello?

T-Bag: …

~*~

Location: Warehouse

*Dr Sara is on the phone over on the stairs while Michael and the guys are round the table*

Michael: So, Scylla is in a room protected by a fortified steel wall, with weight and microphonic sensors inside. But on the bright side, no cameras. First we work out how to get in, then we can worry about crossing the floor.

Sucre: In silence?

Michael: Yep.

Mahone: Without touching it?

Michael: Indeed.

Guys: …

Michael: Eh, it’ll be fine. I’m going to go and see why my girlfriend is crying.

Dr Sara: You have a rare benign brain tumour. You were probably born with it, but it’s growing now and you need surgery.

Michael: Sure. In two days.

Dr Sara: No, tomorrow. Or you could die.

Michael: Crap.

~*~

My Thoughts:

Finally someone recognises one of the escapees. This was getting quite ridiculous.

The next thing that’s annoying me is time and distances. Or maybe Mahone is magical.

It’s weird that everyone’s so sad about Bellick. I mean, I know I said I was starting to like the guy, but that’s from a viewing perspective. In Prison Break land it’s only been a few months since Bellick was the sadistic prison guard who killed a cat and deliberately put a young prisoner in a cell with a known rapist and was basically the main bad guy always there trying to ruin Michael’s plans. Then in season two he tried to track down Michael and Lincoln to catch them for the reward money and tortured T-Bag to try and get Westmoreland’s millions and told Sucre that he had his aunt and pregnant girlfriend imprisoned somewhere where they’d die if Sucre didn’t help him.

So…yeah. It seems a bit weird to me.

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