Also, I've been writing my Prison Break recaps again. They're shorter than the ones I used to write, and hopefully better. I know most people have no interest in the programme but I like writing them.
Up first we have the two part season opener that was actually shown about three weeks ago...
Let me begin this recap by saying that I didn’t watch most of season three so I’m a bit out of the loop, but this is what I’ve gathered the situation for the main characters to be at the moment:
Michael: Escaped from Sona
Lincoln: Successfully swapped Whistler for LJ
Sara: Dead as dead could be
Mahone: Also escaped
Sucre: Still in Sona
Bellick: Still in Sona
The Company: Still evil
Episode 4.1: Scylla
Michael recaps things for us. Or at least the important things, namely that the Evil Conspiracy killed his beloved Dr Sara and now he’s tracked Evil Gretchen down to deal out some death of his own.
Meanwhile, Evil Gretchen and Whistler are in a car being driven by Mahone. I’m not entirely clear what’s going on here but it apparently involves a card. They go into a hotel, things happen, but to be honest I don’t really care.
What I do care about is Michael sneaking in behind them (is it wrong that I find him hot dressed like a catering assistant?) and pulling his gun on Gretchen. He gives a noble speech about how if Sara were there right now she’d tell him not to do it, because that’s just the kind of decent, good-hearted person she was. *sniff*
Evil Gretchen is apparently surprised that Michael fell for the whole ‘Head in a Box’ thing and informs him that the good doctor escaped, which is why Gretchen had to pretend she was dead because otherwise she wouldn’t have any leverage. I’m not sure that makes complete sense, but who cares. Dr Sara lives!
Things happen. People go their separate ways.
Evil Gretchen is out in the desert meeting with Pad Man. He’s not happy, due to something to do with that storyline I don’t care about, and orders Evil Company Assassin to do his thing. And that’s the end of Evil Gretchen (except Jodi Lyn O’Keefe is totally still in the main credits…)
Down in Panama, Lincoln, Sofia and LJ are enjoying the good life. Michael calls to ask his brother “Hey, you know that head you saw? Are you quite positive it belonged to my girlfriend?” Lincoln says that it looked like her, but he wasn’t exactly going to take it out and have a closer look to make sure.
We also find out that the inmates of Sona managed to burn the place down and escape that way. Makes all of Michael’s efforts seem a bit pointless, doesn’t it?
Speaking of Sona, here are a couple of the inmates now: Bellick and Sucre hitching a ride over the Mexican border into America before Bellick’s mother comes to pick them up.
You heard me.
Over in Los Angeles, Michael goes online to arrange a meeting with Mahone. They meet by the pier and spend some time hashing out loyalties. From what I gather, Mahone is working with Whistler against Gretchen and the Conspiracy.
Michael wants to know where Sara is, of course.
Mahone starts talking about the data card and I reluctantly realise that I’m going to have to start caring about this, aren’t I? Turns out that this card they’re all after holds all the information about the Company’s agents and operations. Doesn’t seem like a very smart idea to keep all that in one place, but I then I don’t run a worldwide evil conspiracy.
The card in question is called ‘Scylla’.
Michael doesn’t really care. He wants to know where Sara is.
They go off to meet Whistler, who has the card but can’t yet access the information on it. He says they need to break into somewhere in order to do that. His bird book would have been used for this, but since he doesn’t have it any more he needs Michael’s help.
Michael doesn’t really care. He wants to know where Sara is.
Mahone points out that this is their chance to bring down the Company and clear Michael’s name.
Michael doesn’t really care. He wants to go to Sara.
As Whistler begins his own sales pitch, a shot rings out and Whistler goes to that great Prison Break in the sky. I can’t say I’m upset. Michael and Mahone are too busy protecting their own lives to prevent the agent from grabbing Scylla.
Down in Panama, T-Bag has just finished sleeping with his girlfriend/hooker/person crazy enough to let him touch her. She thinks that he should just stay there with her and his great big pile of money and live the easy life down in the sun, which sounds like a pretty good idea actually. But no, T-Bag has a blood feud with Michael Scofield and he will not rest until he has his revenge. Moron.
He also has the bird book, which I’m sure will come in handy later.
Elsewhere, Evil Company Assassin hands over Scylla to Pad Man, who tells him that his next job is to kill everyone who was close to Whistler. So Michael, Lincoln and Mahone need to watch their backs. Not that that’s anything new.
Speaking of Mahone, he’s on the phone to his wife, having another one of his cryptic conversations wherein he promises her that they’ll be a real family someday after he’s sorted out all his really important stuff that he can’t tell her about. She must really love him to keep putting up with this shit.
Down in Panama, Lincoln is flirting with Sofia and generally feeling pretty good about life. That is until he notices Really Conspicuous Company Dude staring at him. They try to quietly run away, but Company Dude is already there. A fight breaks out, Dude gets shot. Lincoln gets arrested. Sofia and LJ manage to sneak away.
Back in the good old US of A, Evil Company Assassin has found his way to Mahone’s family home. Where his loving wife and adorable son live… yeah, this is not going to end well.
Michael, meanwhile, has gone to Chicago to find his beloved. So intent is he on this that he somehow manages to forget that he’s still a wanted fugitive. Broad daylight and police cars mean nothing to this man!
He uses a payphone to call Bruce (Sara’s friend from season two who turned out not to be evil despite it seeming totally obvious that he was) and ask him to help him find Sara. Bruce arranges to meet him, but that never comes about since it turns out that Chicago policemen are in fact able to see really famous fugitives when they run in front of their card in broad daylight.
So Michael ends up arrested in possibly the most anticlimactic capture ever.
Next thing you know, Michael is in an interrogation room meeting Special Agent Don Self, who is played by Michael Rapaport, who annoys the shit out of me. I don’t know what it is exactly but I can’t stand this man.
Anyway, Agent Self was apparently working with Whistler before his unfortunate shot to the head and so proposes a new deal: Michael gets him Scylla; Michael doesn’t go to prison.
Michael wants finding Sara to be part of the deal. Agent Self says no. Michael is all “Well, screw you then.” Even the prospect of fifteen years in prison doesn’t sway him. Self tries to convince him by pointing out that Lincoln is also facing hefty jail time, which Self has arranged for him to serve in the US. Apparently Prison Break justice does not work the same way as regular justice, since it must only be a few hours since Lincoln was arrested and he’s already been tried and sentenced. Not to mention the fact that it was clearly self-defence…
Whatever. Don’t think about it too much. Just go with it.
Self’s final bargaining chip; Michael can finish the work that his father started. Apparently Aldo Burrows had quite a hefty file on Scylla, which could prove useful.
As Mahone heads home to see his lovely wife, he finds crime scene tape across his garden and police cars on his street. He policemen prevent him from entering his house, telling him he doesn’t want to go in there.
Poor Mahone sinks to the ground in despair.
On a happier note, Maricruz has FINALLY had that baby. She’s only been pregnant for, what, three years now? Sucre is in the waiting room and gets to hold his daughter briefly before Teresa reveals his presence to the police. Bitch. Sucre runs out to Bellick’s car but they don’t have time to drive off and are caught in what must be the second most anticlimactic capture ever.
On the bright side, Sucre’s reaction when he hears that his daughter has his name is so adorable. Leila Maria Sucre, in case you were wondering.
Back in the interrogation room, Lincoln has joined the party and seems more receptive to the idea than his brother, but points out that they’re going to need more people. Self says he’s bringing the team back together. Yay, just like old times!
He then handily sums it up for those of us who have attention disorders: First they need to get the card itself. Then, in order to decrypt the information on it, they need to break into the Company’s headquarters. Simple.
Michael is still more concerned with finding Dr Sara.
There’s a knock at the door and it turns out that Bruce has come along and made bail for the brothers, so they’re outta there for now.
He takes them to a house where a special someone is waiting for them….
Michael enters the room and who should turn around from the window to see him? Why, it’s Dr Sara! With her head!
They move to each other and hug and kiss and I thought I would be disappointed with a reunion like this but I’m not and I just want to squee! Squeee!!!
Later that night…
Michael and Sara are in bed. They’re still wearing their clothes and this has been the topic of some debate in the fandom since the episode aired – did they or did they not have sex? To be honest, I’m thinking no. Too much to talk about.
Michael says that he thought he’d never see her again and that he’s got something for her. He presents her with the origami rose that’s gone on quite a journey. She asks if that’s what this has all been about, getting her her rose back?
Michael then tells her about the deal that Self offered, and that he loves her, which is all he needs to know right now.
Seriously, if they mess this relationship up again I’m going to have to hurt someone.
Over in Lincoln’s room, he’s studying Aldo’s file. Normally this would be Michael’s job but now he has a girlfriend he doesn’t have time for silly things like bringing down conspiracies any more.
The particular note that Lincoln is reading is cryptic and strange and kinda literary and probably has a hidden code in it. I think if I gave it to my mother she’s solve it in no time.
Back in Michael’s room, Sara is sitting by the window feeling sad. Michael asks what’s wrong and she shows him the scars on her back from where she was whipped while being held by Gretchen and co. Michael holds her while Sara laments about the evilness of the Company and how they won’t stop.
The moment is interrupted by someone shooting the window. It’s Evil Company Assassin! Excellent timing, man.
Michael, Sara and Linc manage to escape the house and decide to take Agent Self up on his idea after all.
And now… Old Times Reunion!
Michael, Lincoln and Sucre are all happy to be together again. Mahone is off to the side like the weird kid no one really wants to play with. Bellick is there too, apparently Sucre vouched for him.
But who has the bird book? Oh right, that would be T-Bag.
T-Bag who has been left for dead in the desert by the guys who were supposed to be giving him a ride into America. They’ve taken all his money, but left him the bird book. How nice of them.
Michael gives a cheery pep talk about how they all might die. And that Dr Sara’s part of the group too.
Self gives them all fake IDs. Michael points out that his tattoo makes him a bit conspicuous. Self has the solution for that – lasers! Yes, after three seasons we say goodbye to Michael’s tattoos. The make-up and costume department breathe a collective sigh of relief.
As the team is about to set off on their plane, Self gives own pep talk. Basically “You succeed, you’re heroes to democracy. You die, you’ll get a heroes funeral. You try to escape, you’ll be hunted down and killed like the scum you are. Clear?”
Episode 4.2: Breaking and Entering
Evil Company Assassin is on the phone to Pad Man, telling him that Michael and Lincoln have been transferred to a maximum security prison. But not to worry, he’ll find out which one! Pad Man doesn’t really care about the details; he just wants to know when they’re dead.
In Los Angeles, the plane has landed and the team are ready to go. Agent Self says they have to wear ankle bracelets, on account of their history of breaking out of places and running away.
They then go to their base of operations, a large warehouse. There they meet Roland, who is on the team whether they like it or not.
Michael is quick to point out that he’s in charge and makes a rousing speech about working together and, you know, not killing each other along the way. No matter how tempting it may be.
Mahone gets down to business, explaining that Whistler was supposed to drop off Scylla to some guy referred to as the cardholder, whose job it is to keep it safe. While Mahone didn’t see the cardholder himself, he did get a look at his driver. While the others are understandably dubious about the chances of them tracking the driver down, Mahone apparently has the ability to discern numerous character traits from a glance and, using tax records, can narrow the field of possibilities down to around 50, after which he can just look through the pictures and point the guy out.
Down in the desert, T-Bag is somehow not dead yet. He engages in a spot of cannibalism before managing to get a lift to San Diego, where he uses the bird book to locate Whistler’s locker and finds papers, credit cards and an ID. Things are looking up for the Bag.
Outside the warehouse, Sara is flashbacking to her torture at the hands of Evil Gretchen and decides to take it out on some poor, innocent pallets that are nearby.
Inside, Mahone is impressed at how quickly Roland can get access to DMV records. The guys realise that Roland is a hacker/identity thief/douche. That last one came from Lincoln, who is being really hostile for no reason I can work out.
Mahone identifies the driver and the gang are on their way. By gang, I mean Michael, Lincoln, Scure and Mahone. Presumably Bellick, Sara and Roland just hang back and play cards until needed.
Mahone and Michael have a heart to heart about why Michael helped Mahone escape, before Mahone spots the driver and they follow him to a large mansion with hefty security. They’re not too subtle about taking a look at it, either.
Back at the warehouse, the team are trying to come up with ideas on how to break in. Bellick suggests using a neighbour’s house and digging a tunnel. Bellick… I know you’re trying, but there is so much wrong with that idea I don’t know where to start.
Mahone points out that their cover story of being in a maximum security prison will only last so long, so they only have a short window of time in which to do this.
Lincoln thinks that they might not have to go into the house – the cardholder could be carrying Scylla on him. But alas for this idea, the guy is the CEO of a large firm, which pretty much guarantees constant security around him.
Just when all seems lost, Roland pipes up with his idea that they don’t need to TAKE the card, they can just copy it.
Sucre thinks this is a dumb idea, since that would involve stealing the card AND returning it. Roland thinks otherwise. For he has developed some super-duper little gadget that will suck up any data within ten feet of it like magic.
In the mansion itself, the cardholder is meeting with Pad Man, who writes a number down and asks if it’s acceptable. Cardholder says that ten thousand people is indeed acceptable. I’m not sure what this is about, but I doubt it’s good.
The team have a plan. They need the gadget to be in the range of Scylla for two minutes to suck up the information.
As the cardholder is being driven somewhere, Bellick and Sucre cut in front of him and brake, causing the driver to hit the back of their car. Sucre jumps out, shouting in Spanish with the magic sucking gadget in his pocket.
Things do not go according to plan though, and no data is sucked. The driver thinks that Sucre is trying to run a scam; force a fancy looking car to hit yours then get the rich white guy to pay for damages you don’t intend to fix. The cardholder rolls down his window slightly and tells his driver to give the man some money so they can leave.
So, Sucre made a few bucks. But no Scylla.
Agent Self has gone to a car dealership, where the salesman is apparently a former Company man who helped the government and in return got plastic surgery and a new life selling used cars.
Self just wants to confirm that Scylla can only be used if it’s plugged into a decoder box in one of the facilities. I assume this is for our benefit.
Meanwhile, Michael and Linc are back at the mansion wondering how they can possibly get their gadget inside when they notice a maid coming out. How useful.
Back home at the warehouse, Sara is in bed in a yacht in the corner of the warehouse, reading the note that Lincoln was perusing before being disturbed by all that shooting. Michael comes over and she tells him that it’s from The Odyssey. Specifically from the chapter where Odysseus is told that he has to confront the monster known as Scylla and in order to do so he’ll have to sacrifice six men, which he chooses to do. Michael says that’s a hell of a choice. Then starts mentally flicking through members of his team, wondering how important they really are…
Elsewhere, Evil Company Assassin is finding out details of maximum security prisons by tying people up and threatening their roommates. Of course.
And now, Dr Sara gets something to do! She waits at a bus stop with the maid and manages to sneak the sucking gadget into her handbag.
Michael then phones up the house and tells the maid he’s from the security company and there’s a problem with the alarm system. He needs her to go to every window and check the contacts. For some reason, she takes her handbag along too.
Michael says that his systems indicate the problem is coming from an office or den. The maid doesn’t pick up on the fact that this makes no sense, and asks if he means the library. When she goes in there, Roland’s computer tells him things are happening, so Michael makes her hold the window closed for two minutes while he “resets the system.”
The maid leaves, everything is going perfectly, and then she checks her bag and heads back inside.
She leaves again a few minutes later and is joined at the bus stop by Mahone. Suddenly, Bellick snatches her bag and makes a break for it. Mahone loudly shouts for him to stop and tells the maid to stay there before running after her assailant.
They round a corner then both sift through her bag. If anyone saw this happen it would be exceedingly comical I feel.
Unfortunately for them, the sucking gadget is not there. Mahone is not happy, which makes me imagine him returning the bag by shoving it at the woman’s chest with a muted “Here you go,” before stalking off.
Evil Company Assassin is at one of the maximum security prisons, counting prisoners. Turns out there are two less than there should be. He phones up to ask who posted bail for the brothers.
Over in the warehouse, the mood is not happy. The thinking is that the maid discovered the gadget, assumed it belonged to her employer and left it for him. Roland says that while he’s copied the data he can’t read it without the gadget. He’s very upset about losing his precious, but Mahone points out that their bigger worry is the cardholder finding it and realising someone’s trying to steal Scylla.
Michael goes to Agent Self to ask for extra help. Self says he can’t do that due to the whole covert operations thing, and besides, he believes in Michael.
Michael points out that a lot of people believed in him. Not all of them are still alive.
Michael is a bit of a downer.
Back at the warehouse things are looking glum. They know that since the maid only went back inside the house for fifteen seconds, the gadget must be near the door. But it’s still going to be next to impossible to them to get anywhere near the door.
Bellick, in a rare show of observation and understanding, says that the reason the government chose cons to do the job was not because they needed it to be off the books but rather because criminals are expendable. No one’s going to care if a bunch of crooks end up dead.
Everyone else goes for a walk, leaving Michael and Lincoln to have a family chat. Michael is worried that their father thought it was hopeless and his only option was to flee. Lincoln disagrees, saying that even though their father ran away from everything else, the one thing he never ran away from was his belief that the Company needed to be brought down.
Lincoln then goes on to point out that this is their fight alone and the other guys are there by choice.
Michael puts his brain to use and a new plan is formed. Lincoln and Sucre break into the house next door in order to set off the alarm and cause the security guards to come running. Meanwhile, Michael and Mahone head towards the newly unguarded side door of the mansion and enter it once the cardholder has turned off his own alarm so he can go outside and see what all the fuss is about.
Mahone is held up by a photo of a child, which throws him into flashbacks about his own son, but Michael is able to grab the gadget, wake Mahone up and get them out of there before security gets back.
Things are not going so well for Bruce though, who comes home to an Evil Company Assassin waiting for him. He wants to know where Michael and Lincoln are.
Michael and Lincoln are in fact back at the warehouse, where they hand over the gadget to Roland. Sucre is extremely happy about freedom being so close. Obviously no one has told him this is only the second episode of the season.
Sucre wonders what Michael is going to do once this is over. Michael looks over at Sara.
Thoughts of the future are cut short by Roland, who is only downloading gibberish from the gadget.
But Michael has more important things to worry about now, like following Dr Sara outside and asking her if she wants to talk. Actually he says that he was going to ask her that, but already knows that she’s going to say she’s fine. So instead he tells her that whenever she does want to talk, he’s there.
Dr Sara tells him that the only thing that kept her alive during her captivity was the thought of being with him. I actually like that line, despite other people criticising it as too corny.
She goes on to say that she knew if anything happened to her, he would spend the rest of his lift blaming himself and she couldn’t bear the thought of that.
She then says that she wants to make a deal right now that they’re even and the slate is wiped clean. No guilt or responsibility and if they’re going to be together it’s not out of obligation or the idea that they should be together because of what they’ve been through. I want to take these words and thrust them in the fact of all the anti-shippers who use this exact argument to say why Michael/Sara won’t work.
Sara says she wants to start over. Michael asks if this means he has to divorce his stripper wife. I’m glad they can still laugh about things. It bodes well for their relationship.
Lincoln then comes out to break up the party and deliver the bad news that they’re not quite as close to freedom as they thought. Roland goes on to explain, in simple terms that even Lincoln can understand, “If Scylla was a pizza, all we got is a slice.”
We cut to the gang huddled around Roland’s computer. Mahone wonders why they didn’t see this coming since it would be silly to give all that information to one person. I believe I said something like that myself.
But how many people have Scylla? Dr Sara has the answer: Since the Scylla of the Odyssey had six heads, obviously there must be five more pieces for them to find. Because there’s no way the Company could do anything but follow the meaning of the name exactly.
Of course, this is not what the guys want to hear. Michael goes off and has a nosebleed, which TV has taught me is always the symptom of a deadly illness.
Meanwhile, Evil Company Assassin is getting ready to extract some information out of Bruce, but first has to take a call about how much water and honey to give someone. Apparently she knows something and he’s going to find it.
Who is the someone in question? The not-dead Evil Gretchen! But even though she’s not dead, she is really not looking good. I ‘m not quite sure why they’re torturing her for information. Isn’t she on their side? Why do they think she wouldn’t tell them anything?
Prison Break is back. It is good.
Dr Sara is back. Michael/Sara is good.
I hope this continues.