We begin with various scenes of life in Sona, including Crazy Mahone rocking back and forth like the crazy person he is, T-Bag observing everything with his creepy T-Bag gaze and Bellick stumbling around in his underwear clutching an empty water glass.
Michael is waiting in the water queue while Basketball Kid asks him annoying questions about meeting Michael Jordan and sleeping with blonde cheerleaders. Bellick tries to cut in line next to him but is swiftly moved to the back by one of the Prison Enforcers, as I will now refer to Lechero’s men.
The water is dished out of a giant barrel since they don’t actually have running water in Sona and have to get it delivered by the guards outside. Michael wants to know how long the water has been out. A year, apparently.
But enough about the water, Michael wants to know about James Whistler. Basketball Kid tells him that Whistler killed the mayor’s son in a bar fight and so had to get out of sight rather sharpish.
Meanwhile, over by the water, some guy is making trouble, a fight ensues and the water barrel is knocked over. I want to say there’s no use crying over split water, but in a situation like there probably is.
Lechero assures his Enforcer that more water is coming. He doesn’t seem convinced.
Basketball Kid wanders off somewhere, leaving Michael free to fondle and ponder the mysterious note Bellick shoved in his trousers last episode.
Bellick, meanwhile, has lost all his dignity and is trying to suck water from a pipe. Or perhaps the tap that doesn’t work any more. Either way, it is not a good look.
Michael sidles up to him to casually enquire about the note. Bellick hasn’t forgotten all prison etiquette though and suggests that some water might loosen his tongue. Although he might mean that literally considering how little he’s had to drink in the past two days.
Bellick tells Michael all about the strange man in the wall of the sewers. Michael wonders why he wanted the note to get out, but Bellick doesn’t know the answer to that.
So Michael has to go to the source, otherwise known as the sewers, to find Wall Guy. I mean, Whistler. Wall Whistler? Yes, I like that.
Michael starts whispering to the walls, introducing himself and assuming that “they” told Wall Whistler he was coming. After keeping silent for a while, Wall Whistler decides to speak up and asks if Michael is there to get him out. Michael asks if he’s surprised. Wall Whistler explains that it will be a bit difficult since if he goes above ground he’s a dead man.
Credits. Still don’t like them.
Still in the sewers of Sona.
Michael and Wall Whistler discuss plans. Whistler asks if Michael works for the people who want him out of Sona. Bet Michael feels sick at that thought.
Whistler wants to know why they want him out so badly. Michael cynically asks if this is the part where he tells him that he’s innocent and just a pawn in some sick and twisted game. Whistler is all, “Yep, pretty much.”
Michael tells him to stay put. I don’t think there’s much danger of that not happening, Michael.
Lincoln and the strange woman from last week meet up again. She opens by getting all the threats to her person should Sara and LJ be harmed out the way before talking business. She’s a very bossy woman, it turns out: Meet every day, answer your phone, don’t ask stupid questions, don’t waste her time.
Lincoln is more concerned with seeing a photo of Dr Sara and LJ to prove they’re still alive. He also wants a bit of exposition regarding the plot line of season three. The woman is happy to oblige and explains that due to the nature of Whistler’s crime, there is a spotlight on him which makes the normal ways of immorally freeing someone not an option. They have to go in the back way.
Linc wants to know the woman’s name. I do too cos I can’t keep calling her ‘the woman.’ She gives it as Susan B. Anthony. Ha! Good to know that even evil conspiracies can still support feminism. We’ve already had a Susan on this show though, Stupid Susan as I called her, so to distinguish from her, this one will be Susan B.
Lincoln then threatens her family if anything happens to Sara or LJ. He begins by saying “I’m assuming you weren’t born by Immaculate Conception” and I shout and wave my hands around in a dramatic fashion. Not you too, Lincoln! I bet if Michael were here he’d correct you and your woeful misuse of that term. Which brings me to my next thought, are they Catholic? I have a feeling that Michael is, although I can’t remember why I think that. Was it mentioned in the previous seasons? Because Catholics really should know better.
(By the way, I actually did do all that when watching the episode and I think my brother’s girlfriend thinks I’m really crazy now.)
Elsewhere in Panama City
My spirits are raised by the sight of Sucre, and he’s actually looking quite good. No ill effects from the massive blood loss of last season. He’s having some Maricruz flashbacks, but that’s to be expected. Isn’t she still tied up on his aunt’s llama farm?
He’s… buying a gun? Aw, sweet Sucre, no!
Dissenting Man is shouting about the lack of water. Mahone is watching Michael. Basketball Kid is watching Mahone.
Bellick wants water. Failing that, he wants to know why Michael is so interested in Wall Whistler. Michael wants him to go bug somebody else.
Outside in the courtyard, Basketball Kid is telling Mahone that the Mayor told Lechero that Whistler is a big poopy-head and whoever kills him gets to see a judge, one who’s friendly with the mayor.
Mahone finds this intriguing. Basketball Kid apparently thinks Mahone is a friend of Michael’s and that’s why he’s telling him all this. Really, Mahone? Manipulating the poor kid? That’s low.
Out in the visitors area, Sucre and Bellick come face to face. Well, with a chain link fence between them, of course.
Sucre wants to know where Maricruz is. He’s hoping his newly bought gun will help in the acquirement of this information.
Bellick folds and admits that he never had her. He told Maricruz and the aunt to run and ripped the crucifix off her neck before she left.
Wow, Bellick lied. What a surprise. Although… how do you know he’s not lying now?
Sucre is pleased with this news and heads off to call his girl. Bellick begs Sucre to call him mommy for him but Sucre doesn’t give him a backwards glance. Maybe because he’s still calling him suc-ra.
Mahone is wandering around the sewers, looking crazy.
Sona Visitor Area
Michael and Linc are having their daily meet ‘n’ plan. Michael says that he found Wall Whistler and the guy managed to get a note out on a dead body yesterday. He passes his copy of the note to Linc in exchange for some cash before the guards shout at them to move back.
Michael is a bit disheartened at his prospects of breaking out in a week, especially considering no one’s ever done it before even without an extremely short deadline. He wonders if getting himself killed in the process will be enough for the Conspiracy to let Sara and LJ go.
Lincoln says that he’s change places with him in a minute if he could. Yeah, but you wouldn’t be nearly as good at breaking out now, would you? Still sweet though.
Mahone tries to convince Wall Whistler to come with him. Wall Whistler is not amenable to this plan and just wants the strange man to go away.
When talking fails, Crazy Mahone resorts to violence. He grabs a bar and starts knocking down the wall. Mean Mahone!
Panama City Payphone
Obviously, Panama City is a tiny place. As Sucre is chatting on the phone, Lincoln suddenly calls his name. The Lincoln-Sucre bonding is cute.
Lincoln tells him that Michael’s locked up. Again. Sucre is shocked, and probably a bit hurt that his prison boyfriend’s got himself locked up somewhere without him. Linc asks for his help but Sucre would rather go back to Chicago, where he’s just found out Maricruz is. Lincoln reminds him that he’s still a wanted man back there, but Sucre cares not for trivial things like that
Linc gives him an address to find him at if he changes his mind. Just as Sucre is boarding his bus, Lincoln gives him a heartfelt speech about keeping the innocent people in his life innocent, even if it means walking away from them.
Sucre gets on his bus and as it pulls away Lincoln notices an advert on the back for the Banco de Versailles. Wonder if Michael will be proud that his big brother is solving riddles without him now.
We then see the shouting woman from last week going to that very same bank.
T-Bag is peeling a mango for Lechero while Lech’s Enforcer, the one who knocked over the water, is whining and bitching about keeping him around.
Lech then has a bit of a tizzy about the Enforcer knocking over the water, which isn’t doing good things for Lech’s standing with the other inmates who are right now all having a little shout in the courtyard, lead by Dissenter Man. Guess Lechero was worrying about the wrong guy seizing power last week.
Lechero sends T-Bag out with a jug of water to appease the masses. T-Bag makes his way through the crowds and shows the jug around in such a way that makes a lot of the liquid splash out. Way to waste the limited amount of water, moron.
Bellick comes up to him and says that he wants to talk to Lech. Apparently he has information.
Meanwhile, down in the sewers, Mahone has managed to make a wider hole in the wall. Wall Whistler is not happy with this development.
Above ground, Bellick has apparently convinced T-Bag of his usefulness and the two make their way to Lechero’s office. Enforcer is excited about the prospect of breaking kneecaps but Bellick cries that he has information. Lech says that it better be good, otherwise T-Bag’s knees are going to suffer too.
Bellick says that he just wants food and clothing, but T-Bag shouts for him to get on with it already. So he does. And now Lechero and co know about Wall Man.
Out in the courtyard, Michael and Basketball Kid are chatting. Apparently Basketball Kid has been in Sona for four years, since he was 13. Wow, Panama is harsh. Michael wants to know if he’s absolutely certain that no one has ever broken out, except maybe Whistler. Basketball Kid says Americans ask a lot of questions, which is a bit rich coming from the guy who asked Michael about his sex life earlier.
Michael then notices a bunch of Enforcers going into the sewers and that Bellick suddenly has clothes and food. This does not bode well.
Down in the sewers, Mahone is trying to steal Whistler for himself. He’s in the process of dragging him out when the Enforcers appear, Crazy Mahone defends his prize by brandishing his pipe. Michael soon joins the party. This should be fun.
Michael tries to convince Mahone that killing the guy isn’t going to help me. Crazy Mahone mutters crazily about it being strange, yes, but then this is a pretty strange place. Michael offers to testify for him and Mahone snarks about the halo that just appeared over Michael’s head. Heh.
Wall Whister, meanwhile, is left wondering what the hell is going on. Then he runs.
Upstairs, the inmates are not happy. Lechero is wondering what he’s going to do about the water situation when Michael barges in. Lech tells him that he doesn’t appreciate uninvited guests. Michael offers his help if Lech will take the bounty off Whistler.
Lechero isn’t sure he can trust Michael so he asks T-Bag about it. Probably the last person Michael would have chosen for a character reference, T-Bag says that Michael is a snake who stabbed him in the back every chance he got.
Lech wonders how a snake can wield a knife, but no matter. He doesn’t accept.
Michael heads out to the courtyard, past the Dissenters, to find Basketball Kid. He wants booze. A lot of it. Basketball Kid doesn’t think a party is a very good idea right now. I have no idea how they get alcohol in there. Neither of these issues worries Michael, who hands over the cash Linc slipped him and tells Basketball Kid to get on with it.
Banco de Versailles
Shouting woman is meeting with Vera Madrid (the V. Madrid of the note) and we find out that shouting woman’s name is Sofia Lugo and she’s Whistler’s girlfriend. She’s also a signatory on Whistler’s safety deposit box (bet you can’t guess the number…)
On a bench somewhere, Sucre is going gaga over a baby. He coos that the child is beautiful and informs the mother that his girlfriend is pregnant too. The woman is charmed, as anyone would be by the adorable Sucre. But then a couple of armed guards walk by and, rather than continuing on as if he isn’t bothered, Sucre decides to draw as much attention to himself as possible by sitting back and staring at the ground in an obvious attempt at avoidance.
This, of course, raises the guards’ suspicion and they bother him for a bit before moving on. The mother hurries off with her baby to get as far away from the obvious criminal as possible and I’m left to wonder when exactly Sucre turned into a complete moron. He’s not even wanted in Panama.
Crazy Mahone is in the sewers hunting poor Wall Whistler.
Michael, on the other hand, has a plan. Most likely a cunning plan. One that involves his twisted bedsheet and a bucket of something that Basketball Kid has just supplied. That’s booze? I guess this is why no one in Sona is a drunkard. You’d have to be desperate to touch that.
Michael isn’t done with Basketball Kid yet and asks for some plastic bags. The Kid finally realises that this isn’t going to be a party. Or, at least, not a very fun one.
Banco de Versailles
Sofia removes some item that we don’t get to see from the box. Lincoln, the most unsubtle tail ever, follows her out the bank and confronts her with a “Hey, didn’t I see you screaming your head off outside Sona?” greeting.
He quickly lets her know that he knows she’s Whistler’s girlfriend, right before grabbing her purse and taking out a small, tattered book about birds. He wonders what Whistler wants with it but Sofia says she has no idea.
As Linc leaves, Sofia loudly asks why “you people” won’t leave Whistler alone. I would ask her what she means by ‘you people’ but Linc does not.
Lincoln whirls around and shouts that they didn’t want to be forced into this. Sofia is confused. Perhaps you two should talk and work out what the hell is going on.
Over in a car, Sweaty Elliot watches the exchange.
Michael is busy doing… something… with his plastic bags, bed sheet and booze. Basketball Kid is worried about what Michael’s enemies will do when they realise he got those things for him. Perhaps he is just now realising that maybe it’s not such a good idea to be Michael’s friend after all.
Michael assures him that no one will know and heads off with his whatever it is to do whatever it is he’s planning on doing.
Down in the sewers, Mahone is taking his prize top-side. Some Enforcers try to take it off him, but Big Bag Mahone scares them off with threats of death.
Elsewhere in the sewers, Michael is following the pipes.
On the surface, Dissenter Man has rallied his troops and they are in the process of rioting against Lechero. Rocks are thrown, the Enforcer from before (who I’m starting to think should have his own name) wants to go down and slit some throats. T-Bag doesn’t think that’s a good idea, it’ll just make them madder.
Lechero’s phone rings.... Wait, Lechero has a mobile phone? Seriously? Anyway, he tells the guard on the other end that they have no water. The guard says that it’s a shame they have no guards in there, otherwise they could riot and take hostages. The subtle implication is not lost on Lech.
Lechero demands more water, which is probably not the best course of action. The guard tells him there’ll be some in two days, but if he’s rude again it won’t be for another two weeks.
Down in the sewers, Michael is pushing his homemade booze bomb into a pipe, to remove a blockage I think. He has a bit of trouble lighting the matches to light the fuse. Mostly because of the way he’s holding them, but where did he get matches from anyway?
Meanwhile, Crazy Mahone has brought Whistler to the yard and is waving his pipe around like a madman.
Lechero is informed of the situation and strolls out to take control. He says that he will decide this, but Dissenter Man has other ideas and says that Lech is done.
Just as we’re about to get another fight, the booze bomb rocks the prison and water suddenly shoots out of the tap. Michael is a miracle worker!
Michael reappears from the sewers and Lechero instantly knows this was his doing. How useful.
The rest of the prisoners are frolicking in the water, like children on a hot summer’s day. Yeah, you’re happy now, but I just hope you’re able to turn that water off. It shot out at such a speed from a tap that hasn’t been used in a year that I wouldn’t be surprised if something’s broken. But that wouldn’t help the storyline, now would it?
Lechero is pleased with Michael’s offering and declares Whistler free from death threats. I wonder if the rest of the inmates know about this. And since, from what I understand, the offer came from the mayor through Lechero rather than from Lech himself, why should they listen? Every man for himself, right? I’m sure they can find a way to contact the outside world if they really want to.
Mahone is not pleased that all his hard work has been for nothing. Whistler is looking a bit uncomfortable, but nowhere near as bad as he should be considering he’s been living in a wall for however long. I’d expect some more eye pain at least.
Maricruz! We get to see Maricruz on the phone talking to Sucre. She really doesn’t look pregnant. It’s been two seasons now, surely there should be at least a little baby bump?
Sucre tells her that as long as he’s a wanted man, it’s not practical for them to be together. Awww, Scure. Maricruz tries to convince him otherwise, saying that she loves him. It wasn’t that long ago that she was going to marry someone else and he was begging her to stay with him.
Sucre then hangs up and appears to leave her crucifix on the phone. Wait…what? What sense does that make? Why would you leave your last connection to the love of your life on a payphone?
Lincoln returns to his hotel room, where Susan B is waiting for him. She goes on for a bit about how he is teh stoopid and demands that he hands over whatever he took from Sofia. Just for good measure, she happens to mention that she has a gallon of bleach, a hacksaw and a tarp in the boot of her car and Linc could be off the face of the earth in an hour. Somehow I don’t think Michael would like that.
Lincoln hands over the bird book, but right after Susan B leaves in triumph, he reaches into another pocket and pulls the real book out. Smart Linc. At least I hope so; it would really suck if you gave her the real one and kept the fake…
Lechero is making himself all pretty for his meeting with Dissenter Man. A meeting that involves not much talking and a lot of drowning. Bye bye, Dissenter Man.
Outside, the inmates are still playing in the water. Wall Whistler, who is not so much with the Wall any more, has cleaned up and is wondering how exactly Michael plans to get them out. Michael has no idea.
Ah, the famous pan back shot. Can’t argue with the classics.
Do the prisoners have any change of clothes? I would assume not, but that’s going to get awfully uncomfortable awfully fast.
Sucre! I am torn! I want him to go back to the llama farm with Maricruz and live happily ever after but I also want him to stay on the show. I love Sucre! But I want happy Sucre.
“Don’t you have any friends in here besides me?” – Michael to Bellick
“Wow! Look at that halo. It just appeared over your head.” – Mahone to Michael