depressedI still don't feel great. I haven't heard back from any libraries and while I desperately want a job I'm still terrified by the idea of getting one. I know I've been getting better with my confidence but the very thought of going to an interview still makes me feel sick. I have no idea how I'm going to do it. I just keep telling myself that I don't have a choice but I don't know if that's going to be enough when it comes down to it.
If it comes down to it, I should say. After all I've not exactly had much success so far. I've extended my field of search and have applied to my local library on a non-CILIP post as well as all the year-long ones I've been going for.
It looks like I may have to extend the search even further to non-library posts, but there's so little I see myself being able to do. And the crippling shyness is a hindrance to pretty much everything.
I hate this. I hate being so useless and I really hate that I'm 23 and not really living. I leave the house about once a week and that's a big improvement on how it used to be not so long ago when I could go weeks without venturing beyond the front steps. I have no job, I have no life and I have very little hope for the future.
