I'm not really happy with this one. I seemed to have strayed more into plain old recap territory than humour. Oh well, maybe I'll be better next week.
Last time on Prison Break
Bellick left a threatening message on Geary’s phone threatening to kill him. Geary was then killed by T-Bag. And the detective woman wants to talk to Bellick.
Mahone figured out Michael’s Bolshoi Booze tattoo was coordinates and tracked him down to the middle of nowhere.
C-Note did what every child wishes their parent would do and barged into school to remove his daughter from her test.
Evil Paul indulged in some Sara torture but was unsuccessful in getting the location of the USB drive of secrecy and lies. Evil Kim then told him to kill the doc.
Michael was in deep shit, about to be shot by Raul and his men, when Sucre came running to the rescue. They now know where the plane is going to be to take them to Mexico.
Lincoln reappeared with Daddy Burrows in tow, completely freaking out Michael
Now on Prison Break
Michael is still freaking out. Big time. He reveals that he knows “this man” and backs away. Sucre steps in to protect his boyfriend and it is sooo sweet!
Michael then proceeds to explain his life in foster care in far more detail than is appropriate for four people on the run who really should GET MOVING.
Yes, apparently we all need to know that when Michael was locked in a dark room he noticed small things because small things can be used to help you do the only thing you want to do when you’re locked in a dark room, and that is help you escape.
Uh… what was the point of that part of the story?
The important part is, Michael’s foster father locked him up and beat him when he was ten years old. See, Michael. I was able to explain it in one sentence. Why couldn’t you?
Over at the motel, Dr Sara has been left to drown in the bath while Evil Paul is in the other room neatly setting out a body bag.
And a hacksaw. Is that really necessary, Evil Paul?
There is a knock on the door, but Evil Paul ignores it. So the motel owner assumes he’s already gone and opens the door himself which causes Evil Paul to quickly run to stop him from coming in and seeing the neatly laid out instruments of disposing of a dead body.
It seems there have been complaints about the noise of Evil Paul’s TV. Evil Paul promises he’ll turn it down, but the motel owner insists he do it now.
Over in the bathroom, Dr Sara is still in the tub, trying to reach the plug with her teeth.
The newfound quiet means that the motel owner can now hear the splashing and wonders if there’s something wrong with the bathroom. Evil Paul explains that his daughter is taking a bath and he will clean it up – Scout’s honour.
Although if Scouts are anything like Guides, they have no honour. They are soul-destroying demons of PURE EVIL.
Dr Sara proves she’s not long and limber for nothing and finally gets the plug. Although with the amount of time she’s already been in there and the time it’ll take for the water to drain I’d have thought she would still drown. The girl in The Prestige would have.
Back with the dysfunctional family of family dysfunction.
Sucre is hustling Michael away, and it is sooo sweet. Aldo is shouting for Michael to listen to him. Lincoln is shouting, wanting to know if Aldo was the one who did those things to Michael. Mahone is probably a few feet away thinking ‘these are the geniuses who outsmart me at every turn? I am so ashamed.’
Seriously, none of them seem to have remembered that they are CRIMINALS ON THE RUN! Making your position obvious with loads of shouting and not hightailing it out of there immediately are both VERY DUMB THINGS.
Lincoln is still asking if Aldo was the one who beat little Michael. Michael asks Aldo how he could do that to another human being with this own hands, thus implying that yes Aldo was the one to hit him. But that’s just Michael being annoyingly ambiguous
In flashback we see the door of Little Michael’s makeshift prison opening, and Aldo holding out his hand telling Little Michael he’s safe now and to come with him and not look back.
So of course Little Michael looks back and sees his foster father beaten and dead, lying in a pool of his own blood.
Michael is still freaking out. Aldo assures him that everything will be all right.
Back at the motel, Evil Paul has his hands over his ears. Apparently he’s fine with drowning Sara and sawing her body into little pieces but he doesn’t want to actually HEAR her drown.
He removes his hands, hears no more splashing and goes to retrieve the body….
…Only to be attacked by Sara wielding the iron that he used to torture her with. It’s hot and she holds it to his chest for a good five seconds. Go Dr Sara!
She doesn’t actually kill him though, which means she can’t get past him, so she does what anyone idiot would do and throws herself out of the window onto a car windscreen.
Evil Paul pulls himself up to look out the window and see the smashed windscreen covered in blood but no Doc in sight.
The ground is dry. That is the first thing we see as Mahone (who is a ghost apparently) makes his way to the abandoned hut.
He sees the vials of reel oil and looks handsomely intrigued. He notices the bloody footprints and strides off purposefully.
Not too far away, the four WORST FUGITIVES EVER are still having a leisurely chat rather than GETTING A MOVE ON.
Michael is upset that he was in that place for six months, that his father chose being an analyst over his family and that he didn’t come back even after he left the conspiracy.
Aldo says that the state kept moving Michael around so he couldn’t find him, that it killed him to leave his sons and that the conspiracy’s enemies and then later the conspiracy itself would have gone through Michael and Lincoln to get to him so he couldn’t go back to them.
Sucre looks distinctly uncomfortable.
Aldo: I’ll fix it, I promise.
Michael: This can’t be fixed. At least not by anything less than taking us all out for super chocolate fudge sundaes.
Aldo: How about a tape that proves Linc is innocent.
Michael: That might work.
Lincoln: You’ll never guess who he thinks has it.
Michael’s Expression: Oh, for fuck’s sake…
Outside the motel, Evil Paul is phoning around hospitals trying to find Sara when he’s interrupted by a call form Evil Kim.
Evil Kim: How’s Sara?
Evil Paul: Dead.
Evil Kim: Send picture.
Evil Paul: Um…
Evil Paul’s thoughts: Crap.
In Harvey, North Dakota, the C-Note family are camping in their motor caravan.
C-Note and DeDe are sitting by a picturesque lake. C-Note is reading a story from the big book of metaphors, explaining that people will do anything to keep those they love safe and happy.
DeDe says she’s happy, C-Note says he’s happy too. Mrs C-Note comes out of the caravan and smiles.
I have a horrible feeling someone’s about to be shot in the chest here…
C-Note and the Mrs hug and look at their daughter and talk about how this moment makes everything worth it before exchanging ‘I love you’s.
Oh god, she’s going to die isn’t she?
In Tribune, Kansas, Bellick is at the police station looking at personal pictures in someone’s office. It’s the woman from last week and the name on the desk reads ‘K. Slattery’ so she will now be referred to as Detective K.
Detective K is being a far friendlier than she was last week, it’s weird.
Detective K: I’m really sorry about your friend. What were you doing in Kansas?
Bellick: Uh…the usual. Seeing the sights.
Detective K: The sights of Tribune?
Bellick: Yeah, sure. Why not?
Detective K: To be honest, I don’t really care if you were here picking up prostitutes or going brokeback.
Yes, she actually said ‘going brokeback.’
Bellick: Oh hell no.
Detective K: Point is, all I need to know is where you were doing it and who you might have met while you did it.
Bellick: Ok, we got a tip that T-Bag was here and wanted to bring him in for the reward money. We split up to look for him and now I’m thinking that Geary found him and didn’t come off so well.
Detective K: A wanted paedophile right here in our little town? Wow! Hey, could you answer some more questions for me? I’d be indebted.
Back with the four fugitives who are STILL IN THE DESERT.
Michael: You really think Sara has this tape? I saw her yesterday and if she does, she doesn’t know anything about it.
Aldo wants to know where she is now (don’t know), Linc wants to know if there’s any way to get in touch with her (yes, they both have cell phones), Sucre wants them to get a move on.
You know it’s bad when the guy who wanted to know how many ‘h’s there are in ‘passion’ is the smartest member of the group.
Michael shhes the others as his super ears pick up a noise. They all look up towards a rocky ridge and see…Mahone appearing over the top. That is such a cool visual; he’s like the terminator or something.
Shooting starts and people run for cover.
Aldo grabs Sucre’s gun and lays down cover fire, telling the guys to head for the car.
They do so, but Michael says they have to wait and pick up dad. Looks like he forgave him pretty quickly.
Aldo fires his last shots, then runs to the car, stumbles slightly but makes it.
Sucre cheers, Linc grins, Michael smiles….but then the smile fades as he realised Daddy Burrows has been shot in his midsection. That’s not good.
Michael: Sucre, get us to a hospital!
Sucre: Where? We’re in the middle of nowhere!
Michael: I don’t care, just get us to one!
Lincoln shouts to his father that he’s going to be ok, just hold on! Aldo makes a heartfelt apology, saying he wishes he’d never left. Lincoln looks appropriately devastated and I think I love Dominic Purcell for that.
With the C-Note family on their camping adventure.
DeDe complains that her tummy hurts, which causes Mrs C-Note to look all concerned and demand to know where DeDe’s knapsack is. C-Note is confused.
Mrs C-Note explains that DeDe needs her medicine; she can’t go two days without it. C-Note protests that he knows that since he is her father.
Mrs C-Note rummages around her bag in a panic. C-Note asks “what are you looking for, just tell me what it is and I’ll go and get it, ok?” You’d think being her father, he would know what she needed.
Mrs C-Note pulls out a backup prescription, which reveals DeDe’s name is actually Dee Dee and that doctors in America still handwrite prescriptions. Weird.
Kansas. Home of Superman.
Bellick and Detective K are chatting over coffee and donuts.
Bellick: Hey, you know when we find Bagwell he might have Geary’s backpack with him. Would it be possible if I could just have it, I’m sure Geary’s wife would appreciate it. And there’s no need for you to look in it or anything.
Detective K: Of course. We’ll make sure Geary’s family gets his effects and I’ll see to it that you get most of the reward money.
Bellick: Not quite what I was hoping for…
Detective K: You know, some of the guys here don’t really trust you. They don’t think you were being totally upfront about your head would.
Yes, Detective K, and last episode YOU WERE ONE OF THEM! It’s like she’s a completely different characters this week.
Bellick then “admits” that he lied and got the would from Geary when they had a fight about how best to find Bagwell, but he didn’t want to rat him out because they fought like brothers all the time.
Bellick: After the fight we split up and… well you know what happened to him. (crying now) I just wish like hell we’d never fought, then maybe he’d still be…
So very slimy.
Detective K: Brad, you can’t blame yourself.
She suggests they refocus their energy in finding the man who killed his friend. Bellick says tearfully that that’s what Roy would have wanted. Then takes a large bite of his donut.
That is so very Bellick. I love it.
In Harvey, C-Note is waiting impatiently outside a pharmacy with Dee Dee reading in the back.
Inside, the pharmacist asks Mrs C-Note for her insurance card, Mrs C-Note says she doesn’t have one. Pharmacist is surprised, asks if she has Medicaid etc.
Mrs C-Note says no, she’ll pay the $125 in cash.
(Side note: I love living in a country where all prescriptions are under £7.)
As she is doing her thing, the pharmacist sees a newspaper with Mrs C-Note’s picture on the front. Dun dun DUN!
Mrs C-Note has nothing smaller than two $100 bills, so pharmacist has to go to the back to make change.
Grab the medicine and run, Mrs C-Note!
In the car of anguish and woe, Lincoln and Sucre see a sign for a hospital. Aldo protests that they’ll be caught. Michael says that he’s not going to let him die.
Aldo: Find Sara Tancredi, she can end this. And the two of you can bond over dead fathers.
In his own vehicle, Mahone is on the phone, asking for an alarm to be put out on the car of anguish and woe.
He gets another call about someone in a hospital and speeds over there.
Upon his arrival, he is informed that the man has been brought in with a severe gun shot wound. Could it be Daddy Burrows?
No, it’s Raul! He has information about Michael Scofield. Namely the where and when of him catching a plane outta here. Mahone is listening.
But Raul is not stupid; he wants to cut a deal first. Mahone is open to that.
Over in a picturesque area of the New Mexico desert overlooking a lake.
Michael and Linc are kneeling by a fresh grave. RIP Daddy Burrows.
Michael laments that they only had a day together. Does he mean today or when he was a child? Because I’m not sure today really counts.
The two brothers stand around, looking at the view of the lake and the rocks on the grave. Apparently once more forgetting that THEY ARE ON THE RUN.
Michael talks about how awful it was as a child and how Daddy saved his life. He wishes he could have let them be a part of his. Sucre is sitting on the car, wishing that he could comfort his boyfriend, but feeling like an intruder in the family mourning.
In the hospital, Mahone informs Raul that he has a pretty sweet deal – charges dropped, government picks up medical costs and he stays until he’s well enough for deportation.
Raul pushes his luck, demanding citizenship and in writing.
He really should know better than to cross Crazy Mahone who then starts pulling out wires and cuts off his morphine.
A nurse comes in to query what’s going on. Crazy Mahone stalks up to her, thrusts his FBI badge in her face and kicks the door shut. Oh Mahone, you are so crazy.
In the Tribune police station, Detective K is on the phone talking to someone who has apparently found nothing.
She tells Brad his instincts were great, there had been an anonymous call about an intruder at the house he mentioned but no one was there.
Detective K: Hey, if you knew about this place that you were so sure T-Bag would be going to why didn’t you, you know, go there yourself?
Bellick: Uh…we couldn’t find it.
Detective K wonders how stupid the two of them must be, or have been in Geary’s case, since the address is listed.
A knock on the door interrupts them and a guy hands Detective K an evidence envelope which she looks at, before walking back to where Bellick is sitting.
She asks Bellick if he’s ever been to Geary’s fancy hotel, he says he’s never heard of it and she says that’s strange cos they found a receipt with his credit card number on it in Geary’s hotel room.
Bellick says he doesn’t know how that got there. Then there is a flashback to T-Bag looking at the receipt because we viewers are TOO STUPID to work it out ourselves.
Detective K: You’re being evasive, Mr Bellick.
Bellick: What happened to Brad?
Detective K then explains that her first homicide case was a young woman who was still breathing when she was left for dead, and before she died she punched in her killer’s number on her phone, which solved the case for them. Because there’s no chance she could have been trying to phone someone for help…
She goes on to explain that when they found the receipt it was in Geary’s hand with his finger pointing to Bellick’s name.
Detective K: With his last ounce of strength, he told us who killed him.
Bellick realises he’s really screwed here and in a last desperate act tells her the truth about tracking down T-Bag and finding the money and Geary running off with it. It sounds completely ridiculous, especially when he ends it with “I’m the victim here, not that son of a bitch.” Yes Bellick…being hit on the head is totally worse than being beaten to death.
Over at the pharmacy, Mrs C-Note is still waiting.
It appears that the pharmacist had kept the medicine hidden behind the counter so Mrs C-Note couldn’t have grabbed it and ran. She finally emerges from the back and very slowly counts out the change.
As Mrs C-Note leaves, a police car arrives. Mrs C-Note looks sad, drops the meds in the bin behind her and walks on.
The police officers ask her where her husband is, she says she doesn’t know and they arrest her.
C-Note is suitable devastated. He’d gone to all that trouble to get out of prison and because of him his wife is probably going to go right back there. Although not the same one, cos that would be stupid.
Dee Dee wants to know where Mommy is. C-Note does not say “She’s going to prison, baby!”
I really hope he remembers to pick up the meds that his wife thought to drop off for him.
Evil Paul is leaving a hospital having been treated for his iron burn. Surely one of the doctors or nurses would have been suspicious about that, I mean it’s not something you can do by accident. They probably thought he was being abused by his partner or something.
Anyway, he gets a call from Evil Kim.
Evil Kim: Where’s my photo, I need it for my ‘victims of the conspiracy’ collage. There’s a perfect space right next to Frank.
Evil: Paul: Ah, there were unforeseen circumstances. Things that could not be predicted.
Evil Kim: Yes, that’s generally what ‘unforeseen circumstances’ means.
Evil Paul: Whatever.
Evil Kim: Where’s Sara? She’s gone, isn’t she?
Paul: Technically, yes. But I’ll get her. Promise.
The doctor in question is sitting in a toilet stall somewhere, using a match to sterilise a needle that she is about to use to sew up a large cut on her arm that is at a really awkward angle.
It hurts. Unsurprisingly.
Come on Michael, call her, meet up with her, make it all better.
Michael and Lincoln are STILL at Daddy’s grave.
Michael is remembering moments before when he said he wasn’t going to let his father die and then his father died. But not before saying “I love you. You know that, don’t you.” And Michael cried.
Michael: So many people have died because of this.
Lincoln: Eh, you couldn’t have known.
Michael: But the conspiracy did, they wanted dad in the ground and they got their wish.
Lincoln: Well this isn’t going to be the last of it. This thing will keep spreading and their hands will get more and more bloody.
Michael: The question is, is the blood on their hands or on ours?
The trouble is, he puts his sunglasses on as he says that last bit, which completely takes away any credibility he might have had.
Sucre comes up to them saying he’s really sorry but they REALLY HAVE TO GO NOW. He gives Michael a hand to help him up and it is sooo sweet.
Mahone is driving along, with dramatic music, calling people telling them to intercept the plane and shoot it down if they have to.
The plane in question is then seen landing at an airstrip, where Michael, Lincoln and Sucre are waiting.
Sucre eagerly jumps up saying “come on guys!”
But no, Michael and Lincoln have decided that after all that trouble, they’re going to stay after all. Sucre is shocked. The pilot is not happy.
Scure: Michael, this is what we’ve been waiting for. A chance to go to Panama and live happily ever after together.
Ok, so he doesn’t say the second bit, but the first part on its own kinda implies it. And is sooo sweet.
Michael: We’ll see you down there.
Sucre: I hope so.
Sucre then gives Michael a big hug (sooo sweet) before shaking Linc’s hand.
Michael: Fly safe Papi. (sooo sweet)
Sucre is so very happy. The plane takes off and I can’t get visions of Buddy Holly out of my head. They better not shoot down Sucre or I will be PISSED OFF.
Lincoln: Panama would have been good.
Michael: You ready for this?
Lincoln: Been ready for eight years.
Michael: Glad to hear it, because today’s the day we stop running.
The plane is in the air. Michael and Linc go back to their car with the plan to find somewhere with cell phone signal and call Sara.
Mahone is driving along, sees the plane and in true Crazy Mahone style shouts “where the hell are those jets!”
Michael and Linc hear a noise, pull over and see the new planes. Michael realises that they’re going after Sucre and they’re going to take him down. He wonders how they found out.
Linc sees Mahone in the distance and they hightail the car in the other direction. I really want Mahone to see them ,realise they’re not on the plane and call off the airstrike. Please!
In Tribune, Bellick is unhappy with not being allowed to leave. He points out that a fight and a receipt aren’t enough to arrest him.
Detective K says he’s right, but when added to the threatening message he left on Geary’s phone he’s pretty much screwed.
Bellick advances on her, shouting that he didn’t kill Geary and Bagwell set him up. Two of the police guys notice this and run in to protect her.
One and a half seasons of Bellick hate are rewarded with the sight of the man being arrested. It is ironic though that with all the bad things he’s done, he’s being arrested for the one thing he didn’t actually do.
Evil Paul is at a payphone and tries to call Evil Caroline but is rebuffed by the receptionist who tells him that they don’t know any Evil Paul.
Evil Paul: June, it’s me. I need to speak with Caroline and if you don’t put me through I’ll make sure she knows it was you.
June: No dice.
Evil Paul then calls Evil Kim but gets his answering service. He begs him not to do this. We then get to see what ‘this’ is as we cut to Evil Kim with a computer guy digitally removing Paul from all the pictures of the president.
While Evil Paul’s voice is in the background, still begging, Evil Kim instructs the computer guy to “make him a ghost.”
Oh Evil Paul you have been abandoned! Evil Caroline has forsaken you.
It is now night time, and Michael and Lincoln are driving in their car, searching for phone signal.
Michael gets a brief signal and sees a radio tower. He tells Lincoln to turn around so they can get closer.
Lincoln: What about your friend back there?
Michael: If we’re going to go down, we might as well go down swinging.
They turn around and Michael gets signal and beings to call Sara. He is so excited about it going through.
Michael: Come on Sara. Pick up, pick up, pick up.
Then a car drives straight into them. Seriously.
Lincoln and Michael both climb out of the car. The phone is a few metres away and ringing.
But before he can get to it, Mahone gets out of his own car looking every bit as Crazy as his name suggests. He waves his gun between the two brothers, stopping them in their tracks.
The phone stops ringing and Sara’s voice comes though.
Sara: Hello? Hello, Michael? Michael?”
Sucre can’t die. Sucre can’t die. Sucre can’t die.
Sara and Michael need to get back together. He needs to be all concerned about her injuries and kiss it better.
So long Daddy Burrows. Aldo, we hardly knew ye.
Poor Mrs C-Note. I kinda wish the C-Note family had just made it to Canada and lived happily ever after together rather than continuing their storyline.
Still no Haywire. He’s probably in Holland by now.
And if Mahone is consistent, he should just shoot Michael and Lincoln right now. But I doubt he will. In fact, I’ve recently been starting to wonder if they might all team up to bring the conspiracy down. That could be interesting.