Previously on Prison Break:
Michael locked Mahone in a cage. Mahone taunted Michael. Will these two ever learn to play nice together?
Michael gave Sucre a piece of paper that says Bolshoi Booze. Hey! That’s the name of this epidoe!
The three generations of Burrows were reunited, blissfully unaware that the really conspicuous guy working with them is really a bad guy who’s just been ordered to kill them.
Sara left Michael, and walked right into the clutches of Evil Paul. D’Oh.
Geary asked about a weird mini-monitor T-Bag was carrying. T-Bag told him it was for his blood pressure, but we all know him well enough by now to realise that he was totally lying.
T-Bag was left ties to a radiator by his bad hand and I am so certain that the police are going to enter the house to find his severed hand just hanging there.
Scene: The house of fun and torture. T-Bag is still attached to the radiator.
The police knock. T-Bag looks contemplatively at his hand as though only just realising that it’s detachable. Oh, T-Bag, I’m disappointed in you.
The police get tired of knocking and just barge in.
Police dude: This is the federal police! Make yourself known!
The camera pans around to show us that I was wrong, there is no severed hand dangling fro the radiator. It is in fact hidden behind it.
Scene: Maljamar, New Mexico. Michael is in a fishing supply shop buying a case of reel oil and GPS.
Nice old man: That’ll be almost $100 please.
Michael, realising he doesn’t have enough: Uhm you know what. I’ll just take the reel oil. What do I need to know where I am anyway?
But! After the nice man has walked away, Michael proves his true criminal colours and grabs the GPS anyway.
Nice old man notices this and tries to get it back, a skirmish ensues with the result that the nice old man ends up in a pile of coolers.
Nice old man: Just take it, please don’t hurt me.
Michael’s guilt: Uh huh, that’s right. You just assaulted a nice old man.
Michael runs around the corner and feels his conscience catching up with him. Through a series of handy flashbacks he remembers all the bad things he’s done or that have happened because of him: Robbing that bank, the guard getting shanked in the prison riot, Westmoreland dying, those ladies being terrorised in their house, using Nika, Sara overdosing, and betraying Pope after the man had said he was fortunate to have met Michael.
Michael then spies a church and a look comes across his face like he wants to turn to God to make up for all the naughty things he’s done. But this is Prison Break and nothing is as it seems…or is it?
Scene: Trinidad. With the family Burrows.
Daddy Burrows has revealed that Aldo is just an alias for his superhero disguise. He is, in fact, Exposition Man!
Exposition Man: So, basically the whole conspiracy is about corporate greed taking over the government. I am part of a crack team that wants to bring them and their evil ways to justice. Or, kill them. You know, whatever’s easiest.
Lincoln: Tell us how this relates to us, Exposition Man!
Exposition Man: Well, you know how all communication in America is monitored in an ever growing government plot to take away all our liberties and turn us into a slightly too late version of 1984?
Lincoln: Of course.
Exposition Man: Fortunately for us, there is an NSA analyst sympathetic to our cause. He accidentally heard a conversation between the president and Terrence Steadman, two weeks after you supposedly killed him. He saved this information on his little USB drive but was stopped trying to leave the bulding. So he passed it on toe Frank Tancredi, who was also looking into President Evil Caroline.
Meanwhile! Conspicuous Man has appeared outside the house and is told by another guy that Aldo and Lincoln want to be left alone. So Conspicuous Man does what anyone would do in that situation and shoots him.
Inside the house, the conversation continues.
Exposition Man: So now, Frank is dead, the analyst is missing, the data has been deleted from the mainframes and we all think Sara has the information. She’s the key to this whole thing.
Actually, she HAS the key to this whole thing, but you’re close.
Conspicuous Man is now inside the house where he shoots another guy. Time slows down as we watch the bullet casing fall to the ground. Lincoln proves that he is part dog and perks his ears up at the sound. Thanks to his superhuman abilities, the guys are prepared when Conspicuous Man bursts in and starts shooting.
Lincoln and Conspicuous Man fight. I notice that Linc only has three buttons done up on his shirt. Some things never change.
Just as Conspicuous Man is about to
LJ: Way to go, possible future stepmom!
Lincoln has blood on his hands and looks so photogenically angsty about it.
Scene: The motel. Evil Paul is duct taping Sara to a chair.
Evil Paul: Hi my name is not Lance and I’m not an addict. But I am reasonable, so tell me what you know and I’ll let you go and we can have pie.
Sara: I don’t know where Michael is.
Evil Paul: Yeah, don’t really care. You see, your father left Washington with something that didn’t belong to him and I want it back.
Sara: I don’t know what you’re talking about
Evil Paul: Where is it?
Sara: I don’t know what you’re talking about
This goes on for a good while but eventually Paul realises she’s not going to give in and decided to run her a bath
Sara knows this can’t be good.
Scene: The Church. Michael is in confession.
Michael: Bless me father for I have done many bad things.
Priest: Like what?
Michael then goes on to say that he’s guilty of the sin of righteousness and thinking that the ends justify the means. You know, breaking loads of laws and giving criminals free reign in order to save his brother.
Michael: Also, when I was a kid I watched a man bleed to death and was glad because he deserved it.
I have no idea what he’s talking about and I wonder if this is some secret code to the priest and next thing you know they’ll be talking about escape routes or whatever.
Priest: You should surrender your life to God.
Hmm, maybe he really is a priest. Weird.
Michael is crying. Poor baby.
Scene: In the Burrows house. Conspicuous Man is lying dead on the floor when his mobile rings.
Lincoln answers: Y’ello?
Evil Kim: Is it done?
Lincoln: You are.
Evil Kim: Wow, you do know that was like the lamest comeback of all time, right?
Lincoln: Whatever. I just wanted to let you know that anyone else you send after my son will wind up just like this guy. D-E-D. Dead.
Kim: Well that’s nice and all, but I really don’t give a shit about your kid. It’s you I want.
Lincoln: And I want you. With my hands wrapped around your throat.
Evil Kim hangs up and smiles weirdly. I think Linc actually got to him! Go Lincoln!
Scene: Michael has hitched a lift to the middle of nowhere. A sign says it’s 17 miles from the border. It is so remote that it doesn’t even warrant a caption.
He’s holding the GPS and looking around the rugged terrain, carrying his box of reel oil which I think is supposed to substitute for the nitro-glycerine he wasn’t able to dig up from the botanical gardens.
Scene: The warehouse. Mahone is still in his cage and Evil Kim has come to pick him up.
Mahone: You’re not Kellerman.
Evil Kim: He’s busy so they sent me instead. And that really ticks me off because I don’t like being in the field and only go out when there’s a screw up.
Mahone: Well if you let me out now you can go home before your shoes get dirty.
Evil Kim: Michael’s meeting with his brother has something to do with Bolshoi Booze. That mean anything to you?
Mahone: It’s one of his tattoos. And in case you didn’t notice, he has a lot of them.
Evil Kim: I suggest you work it out quickly because if they cross the border then they’re no longer in your jurisdiction. And that means you’ll be of no use to us.
Mahone: That sounds bad.
Evil Kim: It is. So, I want you to get a move on and forget about Shales. And once this is all done you can go spend some time with your five year old son Cameron who lives in Colorado.
Mahone grabs Kim by the throat and pushes him against the fence.
Mahone: Don’t you ever mention my son’s name again.
Evil Kim: Ah, there’s the Crazy Mahone we all know and love. Now, fly my pretty! Fly!
Scene: Outside Aldo’s house. Blondie Jane is getting ready to go on a car journey with LJ. I find it a bit weird that Lincoln is trusting her so much already, even if she did save his life.
Lincoln: Have fun with Jane, kid. I’ll see you soon.
LJ: You know, that’s exactly what your father said to you before abandoning you for thirty years.
Lincoln: Yeah, but I actually mean it.
Scene: Back in the middle of nowhere. Michael has sweat stains on his shirt and is using the GPS to find somewhere. Ooh! Is it buried treasure?
Scene: Crazy Mahone is in his car, looking at a photo of Michael’s tattoo and trying to work out what Bolshoi Booze could possibly mean.
Mahone: Bilbo Shooz? No. Sloshed Lose? No. Bolshy Boozer? They’re meeting at a British pub?
He picks up his phone to call someone, asking them to call him back cos it’s important. The fact that it began the call with “hey it’s me” makes me think it’s his wife.
But he still hasn’t figured out this tattoo and the stress is making him crazier by the minute! By chance he catches sight of the photo upside down and inspiration strikes. The letters are numbers!
In a fancy effect for us lazy viewers, the letters from the tattoo come to life and rise up to fill the screen. They change to numbers then move over to the side to become the numbers on Michael’s GPS screen. Clever.
Michael waits a while until a car drives up. A man comes out.
Man: Hey, is that my payment? The medical nitro glycerine?
Michael: As promised.
Man: Great. You have no idea how hard it is to get this kind of grade.
Michael: Yeah. That’s the good stuff all right. Real, honest nitro glycerine in this box. So when’s this plane going to be?
Man: They call a couple of hours before they land. Keeps the DEA off our backs.
Michael’s brain: Crap.
Two other guys get out of the car, who the man explains are his cousins. Michael is clearly nervous. Probably because he’s in the middle of nowhere with three tough criminals who he’s currently in the process of ripping off.
Scene: The motel. Evil Paul carried Sara into the bathroom, chair and all.
Sara looks at the bath. No bubbles. That’s not good.
Evil Paul dumps out her bag on the bathroom counter. Bad Evil Paul! Don’t you know you never go through a girl’s purse!
Evil Paul asks her various questions, like what did her father say when he called her, did she see him in the half hour window they can’t account for, did he give her anything or have someone else give her anything?
Sara: What? You think I’m not telling you anything because I like spending time with you? For the last time, I don’t know!
Evil Paul: Yeah, right. If you’re not involved in all this then why did you give your father the file on Lincoln? Why leave the door open for Scofield? Why would he then send you coded notes and why would you rush down to New Mexico to meet him?
Sara doesn’t say that she did it because she loves Michael. She does, however, gaze at the key she found in her father’s study.
Evil Paul then shoves her head in the water. When he brings her up she is coughing, spluttering and shivering. So Evil Paul gets a towel and dries her carefully, telling her she’s ok. He is so evil!
Scene: FBI offices. FBI guy is on the phone with Mahone.
FBI guy: You were right, they’re coordinates. Somewhere in the New Mexico desert.
Mahone: Great. *hangs up*
Other FBI guy: What’s he doing?
FBI guy: Keeping us out of the loop. Bastard.
Scene: In a convenient hut in the middle of the desert. Michael is talking with the man from the car, who really needs a name, so let’s call him Raul.
Raul is explaining that being on the run from the law with a bad heart isn’t so much fun.
I am strangely pleased that the medical grade nitro glycerine was actually intended for medical use and not for blowing things up.
Michael is still nervous.
Raul: Hey, relax. I know who you are but we can’t exactly turn you in for the reward since we’re all wanted too.
Michael: Good to know,
Raul: You know, I find it kinda weird you’re doing all this for your brother. I have two in prison and I wouldn’t go in to break them out.
Michael: Yeah, well he gave me a baseball when I was 14 so I owe him. Also, why haven’t the plane guys called yet?
Raul: Eh, they call when they call.
Raul examines his payment and points out that nitro glycerine usually comes in glass bottles not plastic. Michael makes up some crap about the guy he bought it from packing it in plastic to prevent explosion or fire.
One half of Michael’s brain: Maybe I should just explain what happened. I’m sure they’re reasonable guys, they’d understand that I had good intentions and it was beyond my control.
The other half of Michael’s brain: Wait, what am I saying? They’ll totally kill me! Best to pretend I really think it’s the nitro and blame my supplier for screwing me over too.
Raul: If you’ll wait just a moment, we’ll test the merchandise.
Michael: Oh crap.
Scene: In a parking garage.
T Bag is crouched in a corner, wrapping his hand, covering his face with his hoodie and generally looking like a no good junkie.
He takes out his “blood pressure monitor” and looks at a red dot on the screen. Ooh, what could it mean?
Scene: The hospital. Bellick is getting his head fixed. Not in the way he needs it though.
He’s being interviewed by a woman who’s obviously investigating what happened.
Bellick: I told you, I was attacked from behind by a black man.
Woman: Who managed to hit you right in your forehead. What did he use, a boomerang?
Bellick: I’m a retired CO from Illinois. How about showing some professional courtesy, honey?
Woman: Well, you just lost any chance of my help with that word.
The woman leaves, obviously thinking of ways to nail his ass to the wall.
Bellick pulls out his phone and makes a threatening call to Geary about how he’s going to track him down and gut him.
Scene: Geary is in an opulent hotel room. A phone shows one message but is ignored. A news report about President Evil Caroline in on the TV.
It is only now that I realise that what T-Bag had was probably a way to track the money. I am so slow.
There is a knock on the door and I wonder if that is him. It is not. It is in fact three well endowed, provocatively dressed and very attractive women. Money can do magical things.
Scene: In a car with Lincoln and Aldo.
Lincoln: What kind of father are you? You’ve never even seen Michael.
Aldo: Sure I have.
Lincoln: The newspapers don’t count, dad.
Ooh, so much intrigue regarding the Aldo/Michael meeting.
Lincoln: You know, I used to wonder what kind of man abandons his family and now I’m doing exactly that.
Aww, Lincoln. Come here, I’ll give you a hug!
Scene: The hut in the middle of nowhere. One of Raul’s cousins is checking out the goods. I really should give these two names, how about Jim-Bob and Bobby-Jim.
Raul’s phone rings, it’s the location of the plane. Michael wants to find out the information and run, but Jim-Bob informs Raul that the nitro is in fact sugar water.
Raul is not pleased.
Michael: Hey, dude, don’t blame me! I’m not a chemist. The guy I bought this from assured me it was premium stuff. We both got screwed.
Raul: Yeah, but you’re the only one who’s going to pay for it.
Michael: Come on, surely we can work something out.
Raul and his gun think otherwise.
Just as things look bad for our hero, we see the Bobby-Jim out front being knocked out by someone. Has Lincoln arrived to save the day?
Inside the hut, Raul has a gun on Michael and wants to know when Lincoln is going to arrive. Michael says they planned on turning them in all along, didn’t they. Huh, I did not get that impression.
Suddenly a figure bursts through the door brandishing a gun. It’s Sucre! Yay!
Sucre actually shoots Raul and I am shocked. But it wasn’t fatal, which makes me feel better. Jim-Bob looks terrified.
Scene: The motel.
Evil Paul is still torturing Sara, who is still insisting her father didn’t give her anything. Evil Paul wonders why she’s risking her life for a street thug like Lincoln, saying that he and Michael just used her.
Evil Paul brings out an iron and pulls on some black rubber gloves. Seems his next plan to to dunk her in the water while putting the iron in too. Ow.
Scene: Geary’s hotel room.
Apparently Geary has asked them for something…odd.
Brunette Hooker: A Cleveland what?
Geary assures he he’ll talk her through it and, look, there’s a glass coffee table right there!
She isn’t willing. The black hooker says hell no. The blonde one agrees to do it for $750. Typical.
Geary goes to get the money and noticed a little electronic tag in amongst the notes. Now, I expected him to realise what it was, panic and try to get the hell out of town at this point. But no, he just wonders what it is then goes to answer the knock at the door.
Nice knowing you, Geary. Well, not really but you get the idea.
Yes, it is T-Bag. Looking bedraggled, beaten and very much like a Star Wars villain with that hood.
Geary: Hey, T! Good to see you. No hard feelings about that torture thing, right? It was all Bellick’s idea anyway and I think he went too far. Why don’t we just split the money and go our separate ways. 50-50. Oh, all right – 60-40.
T-Bag is not in the mood for negotiation.
Scene: The desert hut. Raul, Jim-Bob and Bobby-Jim are tied to chairs.
Sucre is demanding to know when the plane is going to land. Raul isn’t telling, but a lot of blood is dripping down his hands to the ground.
Jim-Bob and Bobby-Jim have lost all their macho bravado and beg Michael and Sucre to let them go cos Raul is losing too much blood and will never make it. Sucre is a hard arse and says they should have thought of that before they tried to kill them.
Michael: Tell you what, you tell us where the plane is landing and we’ll let you go.
Bobby-Jim: It’s a good offer, I’d take it.
Raul gives in, Finley Road.
Sucre is all ready to run, but Michael feels his conscience being tugged. Sucre points out that if it was the two of them bleeding to death, Raul and his buddies wouldn’t even give them a second thought.
There is a lot of pleading and shouting and poor Michael looks like he’s going to have a breakdown.
Scene: The motel of dunkin’doctors.
Evil Paul is trying to be nice, it’s icky. Then his phone rings.
Evil Kim: Hey, has the broad cracked yet?
Evil Paul: That would be a no.
Evil Kim: Ok, then. Kill her.
Evil Paul: But…but she knows something!
Evil Kim: If you disobey me on this, you are done. Comprende? Put her in the ground, Paul!
T-Bag is sitting on the sofa, eating… something and sipping champagne. He is so smug. I find myself wondering if the camera will pan around to show Geary’s disembodied head or something.
But no, T-Bag just helps himself to a cigarette, then spits it out when he finds a receipt that is fascinating to him for some reason.
Scene: The hut of bleeding and pleading.
Michael proves that he is a good guy at heart and cuts Raul loose. Sucre says he’s doing it wrong, and I find it hilarious that there is a right way and a wrong way to do things like this. Is it in the criminals handbook or something?
Raul’s cousins are very thankful and do not immediately grab some guns and try to kill the two of them, which I am pleased about. Raul stops and tells Michael to forget Finley road, the plane will actually be at the seven mile marker at sunset. See Sucre, that’s why it pays to be nice.
Scene: Bellick is leaving the hospital just as an ambulance is bringing someone in.
Paramedic: Yeah, he bled out on the way here. ID says his name’s Roy Geary.
Bellick stops at this and grabs the sheet to look at Geary’s bloody face underneath.
Paramedic: Do you know him?
Bellick: He’s a friend of mine.
What Belllick does not say: Who I was about to hunt down and beat to death myself.
Suddenly the woman from before appears out of nowhere.
Woman: Feel like answering a few more questions for me?
Scene: Mahone in his car on the road in the middle of nowhere.
His phone rings – it’s Pam.
Pam: Hey, what do ya want?
Mahone: Oh, nothing, just wanted to chat.
Pam: You said it was important.
Whenever there is a shot of Pam, we are shown pictures of Cameron strewn about her bedroom as though we’re not allowed to forget his existence even if he’s not actually on screen himself.
Mahone: I’m sorry I was a jerk at the end of our marriage. But there were circumstances! Horrible, ghoulish circumstances that I can never tell you about but sufficed to say it was best that you and Cameron weren’t with me.
Pam: Uh huh.
Mahone: Really, if I could do it over, I’d do it differently. I want to be a family again.
Pam is understandably confused by this weird, cryptic phone call. She offers to pick him up.
Mahone: No, don’t do that. But if you hear anything in the media…
Mahone: Nothing. Love you; give Cam a kiss for me.
He hangs up and I am filled with awe and love for this actor.
Mahone then puts on his shades of absolute coolness and gets out of the car, wearing his black suit of absolute coolness, while carrying a gun in the stance of absolute coolness.
He is in the desert, near where Michael and Sucre are.
Speaking of Michael and Sucre…
Michael is glad that he told Sucre about the place. Sucre is glad he was able to figure out how to work a GPS.
Sucre: Can you make it a little more difficult next time.
I have to admit, I am very impressed Sucre was able to work it out, especially since Michael gave him no indication whatsoever about what to do with the words and I’m sure he wrote them in capitals, not how they looked on his tattoo, so they wouldn’t have looked like the numbers they were supposed to be anyway.
Remember – suspension of disbelief. I watched The Lake House, I can watch this.
Lincoln appears from nowhere, completing the terrible threesome, and introduces Daddy Burrows. Michael looks devastated and just says “we’ve met before.” I wonder if he was the guy Michael saw bleed to death, which wasn’t ‘to death’ after all. Or maybe I’m on completely the wrong track here. It just seems strange that he mentioned it earlier for no obvious reason, and nothing on Prison Break is meaningless.
Scene: The motel.
Evil Paul is sitting on the bed with a giant painting of flamingos behind them. He doesn’t want to kill Sara, she’s too pretty.
He goes back in the bathroom, asking her not to make him do this.
Sara: Even if I knew, I wouldn’t tell you.
Evil Paul: Are you that stupid? Because now you are GOING TO DIE!
Sara: So my choices are – not tell you and die or tell you and still die.
Evil Paul: Not at all. I’ll totally let you go if you give me what I want.
Sara: Go to hell.
Evil Paul holds her face just above the water. He explains that although drowning can be horrific, once you accept it and let the water into your lungs it can be a euphoria, which as a junkie he thought she would appreciate. She appears to mumble something under her breath, possibly a prayer, possibly the secret password to turn into Superted, and he pushes her under.
We see her face has she screams soundlessly and panics as he drowns her.
Eh, I didn’t think too much of this episode. Nothing about it seemed overly exciting.
I’m annoyed that my Lincoln/Sara theory didn’t pan out.
I really hope it’s not going to be another ten episodes before Sara meets up with them again. And she better be meeting up with them again or I will be most displeased.
Now that LJ’s gone off with Blondie Jane this means we’re either going to be seeing much less of him or much more of her. I don’t like either option, to be honest.
Hopefully things will be better next week.