I apologise for any mistakes, I think NaNo has turned my brain into mush. Writing...hard...
Last time on Prison Break:
Dr Sara figured out Michael’s super sneaky code. Unfortunately, so did Mahone so they’re both off to meet him in Gila, New Mexico.
Michael taunted Crazy Mahone about being crazy and burying people in his garden.
Sucre crashed Maricruz’s wedding, but was sent away by her sister. Then later found out that she still didn’t marry Hector so he still has a chance. Yay.
Lincoln and LJ were recaptured
Bellick and Geary indulged in a bit of T-Bag torture to pass the time, oh and find out where he stashed the five million dollars he’d taken.
This episode opens with the dulcet strains of ‘Walking on Sunshine’. No, seriously it does. This is Bellick and Geary’s new torture technique for T-Bag, who still hasn’t cracked.
He does look a lot worse for wear though, and is in fact dribbling on the carpet. Ew.
Bellick thinks a meat hammer is a good way to get him to talk. T-Bag cries, yet still has enough strength to be snarky.
Back in Illinois, there is jubilation in the FBI offices as Burrows’ capture is confirmed. Mahone, meanwhile, is nowhere to be found. One of the FBI guys informed FBI woman that all calls go straight to his voicemail.
And just in case we viewers were too stupid to work out what that means, we then hear Mahone’s voicemail. Seems Evil Paul can’t get in touch with him either.
Evil Paul is then called by Evil Asian, who is in fact Mr Kim and will therefore henceforth be known as Evil Kim.
Evil Paul: Hey dude, we totally got Burrows.
Evil Kim: I know. We need Mahone to go get him.
Evil Paul: Aw, can’t I do it. Pretty please?
Evil Kim: No. Mahone is the official guy, that’s why we hired him.
Evil Paul: Meanie.
Over in Willcox, Arizona - Lincoln is still pleading LJ’s case when suddenly a big black van appears behind them and forces them off the road. Lincoln and LJ make a break for it, and thanks to some car door kicking we get to see that LJ is wearing really pointy boots.
LJ seems in pretty good shape for someone who was run over by a car just a few minutes ago.
A swarm of people emerge from the van and quickly apprehend them. Lincoln manages to head-butt the only woman in the group, who does not appreciate it. She explains that they’re with his father so stop with the violence already.
I do not like this woman. Maybe it is because she is blonde, and as a brunette I have a genetic disposition to hate her, but there’s just something about her that annoys me.
Back at the Illinois airport, Evil Paul finally makes contact with Mahone.
Evil Paul: Hey, get over to Arizona now. We got Burrows.
Mahone: Maybe later. Right now I’ve got my eye on my little obsession, otherwise known as Michael Scofield.
Evil Paul: But we’ve got Burrows now.
Viewers: Oh no you don’t!
Mahone: Wait, you made such a big deal about me decoding Michael’s note to Dr Sara and now you want me to leave? Make up your freaking mind!
Mahone also says that he is ‘sitting right on top’ of Michael and Sara’s meeting and sure enough he is indeed up on an area that overlooks the whole town. Probably not the best way to identify individual people, but at least he’s being as literal as possible.
Sara is in her Gila hotel, doing her hair and thinking about how she found her father hanging in his study. She also reminds us all of the key that fell from him when she took him down and we see her adding it to her keyring, which is so much easier to use than my keyrings. I am jealous.
Then we go to Trinidad. No, not that one. The one in Colorado. Yeah, I was disappointed too.
Lincoln and LJ are being brought to a nice, big house where a very conspicuous man stands and waits for them in the driveway, earning a harsh glare and biting comment from Lincoln as he gets out of the van.
Blonde woman continues to irritate me.
Lincoln: Why should I trust you?
Blondie: You’ve got no choice, unless you want to go back out there where the cops are. Cos if you do I’ll let you go right now.
Lincoln: Actually, I think I do.
Blondie: Well, tough, I was totally lying. And by the way, where’s your brother?
Lincoln: Yeah right, like I’m gonna tell you that!
Back in Gila, Mahone is asking around hotels for Michael. Then he puts on his shades. Because he is cool. Then he does a U-turn in the middle of the road. Because it is huge.
There is a knock on Sara’s door, she emerges from the bathroom with wet hair, a nervous look her on face, dramatic music sounds. Is this him? Could it be?!
No. It’s a fax. Telling her to be at a house on Butterfield Road to be in one hour. Michael must be slipping, he’s becoming like Stupid Veronica. Seriously, what kind of genius uses such a public method of communication and then doesn’t even encode his message? Anyone could read that!
But I must take this opportunity to point out that I’m liking wet Sara.
Then we go to Dinosaur. Dinosaur, Nebraska that is. I think the writers just looked for the coolest place names they could find then wrote the story around them.
Sucre is shirtless. Oh, yeah and his car has broken down. But the important thing is that he’s shirtless.
He walks to the nearest store, tears down a wanted poster with his face on it and calls Theresa., who I believe is Maricruz’s sister and who rightly points out that he has bigger problems right now.
Sucre: What can I say, I’m a fool in love. Please, let me talk to her.
Theresa: Can’t. We’re going on her honeymoon in a couple of hours. She should be here soon to pick me up.
Sucre: Well, can you have her call this number when she gets there. Pretty please.
Back in Gila, Dr Sara is driving on a dirt road, making funky crunching sounds under the wheels. She reaches the destination on the fax, but there is no Michael. She checks the mailbox, but there is no message. Her hair looks absolutely beautiful, but that isn’t really relevant.
Another car approaches and here it is, the moment we’ve all been waiting for! Well, I have anyway:
Michael: Hello, Sara.
Be still my beating heart.
Sara: So, Plan-Boy. What’s this great plan you have to make everything right?
But, before we can find out his plan, we return to Mahone who has found out where Dr Sara is staying. The annoyingly helpful desk guy informs him that some guy was trying to send her a fax this morning and succeeded about twenty minutes ago.
Hang on, the fax said to meet in one hour. Now, it’s been a while since I was at school, but I thought there were more than twenty minutes in an hour.
The annoyingly helpful fax machine gives Mahone a copy of Michael’s fax. See, Michael, see how stupid you were being. I expected more from you, really I did.
Back with Dr Sara and The Non-Genius Plan-Boy. What is his wonderful plan to make everything right? Surely he must have one, and it’s going to be a doozy because, come on, he’s Michael! He has a plan for everything!
And it is…
Michael: Well, you, me and Lincoln go to Panama and live happily ever after.
Sara: You call that a plan?
Michael: Uh…yeah. We can have sex in Panama.
Sara: Oh, well in that case…no, wait a minute. You lied to me! I let T-Bag out because of you.
Michael: Yeah, sorry about that. That wasn’t meant to happen. But I had to do something; my brother was going to die.
Sara: Well, my father did die.
Michael starts crying. Yes, really. Stoic, unemotional, unfazed by anything Michael is crying. He tells her that out of all the things he regrets, he’s most sorry about what he did to her.
Sara: Doesn’t really help right now.
Michael puts his sunglasses back on, probably to hide his crying eyes. He tells her that he doesn’t want her to be alone in this, and she says she doesn’t want to be alone either.
And, just when I think they’re going to hug, a car starts speeding towards them from down the road.
I really, REALLY hate Mahone at this point.
Michael and Dr Sara both pile into his car and Michael indulges his boyish side by playing a game of chicken with Mahone.
In a lovely bit of symbolism we see the two cars heading towards each other as though in a joust where Michael is in the white car while Mahone is in the black one.
The two vehicles scrape against each other, Michael drives though some chained gates and there’s a lot of vehicular rough and tumble.
Then Michael helps Sara out of the car and I squee just a little.
Back in the house of torture.
You know, I hate all these characters so much I kinda wish the house would just explode and kill them all. Even T-Bag, who I used to love to hate.
Geary is heating a small skewer up on the hob. This is apparently the final straw for T-Bag, who makes a break for it when Bellick tries to bring him over.
The locker key falls out of his sock so he does what any idiot would do. He swallows it. Last time he swallowed a key it resulted in his hand being cut off. You’d think he would have learned from that!
The next scene shows the guards setting up a colander in the toilet. My first thought is that they’re going to make T-Bag throw up, but I am wrong.
Instead they duct-tape him to the toilet. Now, like I said before it’s been a while since I was at school but I would think it would take a while for the key to completely pass through. Even with all the laxatives Geary has so thoughtfully bought for him.
Back in a more pleasant storyline, Sucre is waiting by the phone but in a cruel twist of fate, it starts ringing as soon as a police car arrives. Oh the agony! Sucre is torn, as is demonstrated by his flashbacks to times spent with Maricruz.
Now, and this is just me, I would pick up the phone. There shouldn’t be anything suspicious about a man talking on a public payphone so there’s no reason for the police to look at you twice. In fact, you’re being even more suspicious by standing next to it with that pained expression on your face, constantly looking around at the cop car.
The phone stops ringing.
Woe, Sucre. Woe.
Michael and Sara are in a warehouse of some kind. Perfect for dramatic cat and mouse chase scenes.
Michael informs Sara that Crazy Mahone doesn’t want to catch him, he wants to kill him. Oh, the tension!
In the super plus house.
Lincoln is explaining to LJ about his father’s involvement in the conspiracy and how it was because of him that Lincoln was set up. Blondie reappears, this time with a name – Jane. Lincoln apologises to her for busting her lip earlier and I wonder if she’s being set up as a potential love interest. Now, Veronica may have been stupid but I liked her a whole lot more than I do Jane.
We find out that Jane used to work with Lincoln’s father in the conspiracy, and that she has no family. She says that Daddy Burrows really wants to see Lincoln and Michael, since he hasn’t seen Michael since he was ten years old.
Conspicious man pops in to say “they’re here”
Jane leaves and Lincoln tries to escape, explaining to LJ that Michael never met his, that is LJ’s, grandfather.
But…it turns out it really is him.
Michael and Sara split up in the warehouse of pipes, cages and random pieces of metal. Come to think of it, it’s probably not actually a warehouse, but that’s what I’m going to call it because it’s easier.
Mahone nearly approaches the place where Michael is hiding with a long metal thing ready to bash his brains out, but at the last minute heads towards Dr Sara’s hiding place instead.
Michael kicks over a convenient piece of metal to draw Mahone back to him. How sweet.
In Willcox Arizona, Evil Kim and Evil Paul are talking on the phone. Evil Paul is explaining that what has happened is just a setback. Evil Kim is still on the same roof where he was when he was having the conversation earlier.
Evil Kim: It’s fine, someone else will clean it up.
Evil Paul: You’re bringing other people in? I’m hurt.
Evil Kim: Suck it up, soldier. You can’t have thought you were the only one on this. Go back to your original assignment and find out what Daddy Tancredi told Dr Sara.
We also discover that Evil Kim’s first name is Bill.
Back in the warehouse of convenient metal and fear, Sara reaches the door again and heads for Crazy Mahone’s car.
Michael very carelessly cuts his arm on a fire extinguisher.
Sara reaches the car and checks the sun visor and glove compartment. For what? Please don’t tell me you’re looking for keys Sara, otherwise I may have to reassess my opinion of your intelligence. Did you really think Mahone took the time to put the keys neatly back in their place before running out to kill you two?
So she gives up and hotwires the thing. See, a delinquent past is a useful thing to have.
Michael decides that releasing a load of propane gas into the air would be a smart move. I really hope he has a plan with this but after that fax thing earlier I’m not too optimistic.
Back with the most disgusting storyline this season, Bellick and Geary are chatting while in the bathroom, T-Bag is doing his…business.
Bellick assigns Geary to do the dirty work of fishing the key out. But still handles it after just a quick rinse. I’m so glad I’m not eating right now.
The two leave T-Bag, fortunately with his trousers back up, tied to a radiator and call the police on him. I notice that they have tied him by his recently detached hand. That should prove an interesting conundrum for him. You know, wild animals will chew off their own limbs in order to escape traps…
In the warehouse, Michael manages to outsmart Mahone into a cage. Mahone levels his gun at him, but Michael warns against that:
Michael: Propane gas filling the room. You fire gun, we both go boom.
Crazy Mahone is living up to his name, pacing around the cage and threatening to shoot Michael anyway. Michael takes the opportunity to taunt him about which side he’s on. He does have a point, the FBI guys are all after Lincoln, who never actually killed anyone, but Mahone, supposedly a good guy who they all work with, has already killed an unarmed teenager. He’s the real murderer here.
In order to stop Mahone suffocating on gas, Michael breaks a couple of windows. So Mahone taunts him about not being able to kill and says that he will find him, whether it’s here, or in Albuquerque or in Panama. This gives Michael pause, but only briefly.
Mahone: I will get you. (quieter) I don’t have a choice.
Ooh, insight into Mahone?
Sara returns with her own car to pick up Michael and be suitably concerned about his wound…and tells him to wear his seatbelt.
In Tribune, Kansas, two ex-COs are on the spot millionaires. But Geary really didn’t like having to sort through T-Bag’s shit and whacks Bellick round the head with the meat hammer from earlier before taking off with the money.
Never thought he had it in him, to be honest.
Sara, wearing Michael’s hat (so cute I think I might die) buys some supplies and finds the two of them a motel that charges by the hour. Then as they’re walking to it, she asks him if he wants his hat back. (Yep, dead)
Sucre is looking agonised. Poor baby. He calls Theresa and leaves a message for Maricruz on her answer phone explaining why he didn’t pick up the phone. He tells her he has an aunt who lives outside Mexico City on a farm, with a llama for the baby to ride.
Yes, you heard me. A llama for the baby to ride. That is so cool.
He says he’ll be at Ixtapa airport waiting for her next week when she goes to fly back. Then, we find out what Michael gave him a couple of episodes ago – a note that says Bolshoi Booze.
And am I the only one wondering why Sucre has family in Mexico when he’s Puerto Rican?
In a very jarring scene change, Hector barges in on some woman who I assume lives with Maricuz demanding to know where she is. Using his vast detective skills, also known as finding the flight itinerary, he realises that she’s gone to Mexico. On a trip paid for with his money. This displeases him.
Back in Gila, Sara is playing doctor again. Ah, season one nostalgia. She also calls Michael out on not being a diabetic, thereby re-raising my opinion of her intelligence once again.
She compares being on the run to drugs and says she should know better by now.
Michael assures her that it won’t always be like this cos They can’t chase them forever and in one more day they’ll be across the border.
As he goes to the bathroom to get cleaned up, he pauses to tell her that he is glad she came. My shipper heart is all a-flutter. But her expression doesn’t fill me with confidence.
In the plush house, grandfather and grandson finally meet. Grandpa comments on Lincoln naming his son after himself, but Lincoln points out that he wasn’t going to name him Aldo. Which is really Burrows Sr Sr’s first name!
Lincoln introduces LJ to his grandfather, and the way he says ‘Aldo Burrows’ is so full of distain you can tell this is not a happy family.
Blondie Jane is watching through the window in the door. Why? Are you spying on them?
Aldo says that he can get Michael and get them all safe. Lincoln prefers trusting Michael to get them to Panama. Aldo says that they don’t need to run any more, he apparently has a way to make everything right.
Don’t believe him Lincoln, we’re not even halfway through the season yet!
Conspicuous man from earlier gets a call…from Evil Kim! He, Conspicuous Man, says that he has he’s got the three generations of Burrows, or as he calls it ‘the trifecta’.
Evil Kim tells him to take care of them. I think it would be a nice twist if he actually meant to keep them comfortable and supplied with cake. But while Prison Break is notorious for it’s misdirection I think that may be a step too far.
T-Bag is kicking at the radiator with his hideous snakeskin shoes when he hears sirens approaching. His hand is still firmly attached.
Michael exits the bathroom, in a t-shirt and boxers all ready for seduction, only to find a note from Sara, who has left him.
FRISJIWOTRATAFARAMAZAWHAT!!!!! I HAVE WAITED TEN EPISODES FOR YOU TWO TO GET BACK TOGETHER!! YOU CAN’T LEAVE HIM NOW!!!
Sara gets in the car, starts it up and just as I am about to scream very bad things at my laptop screen, she has a change of heart and gets back out again…
To come face to face with a gun wielded by Evil Paul.
Oh, Evil Paul how I loathe you.
Noooooooooooooooo! BASTARDS! How could they do this?
I wouldn’t mind Sara being caught, if only Michael didn’t still think that she had left him. Now he won’t be looking for her. Dammit. And he’s going to think that she really did leave, when in fact she was going to return. Dammit.
I’m such a sucker for the storyline where one half of a couple I ship is in danger and the other half rescues them. And we get to see how worried they are and how much they care. But if Michael doesn’t realise she’s in danger they will have wasted this opportunity to do that.
But still, the trailer for next week is interesting; with Daddy Burrows telling Lincoln that Sara is they key to this whole thing. A couple of weeks ago I really liked the idea of Lincoln and Sara meeting up, travelling together and then reuniting with Michael later. Now it looks like that could actually happen. I hope so.
Oh, and I really hate Blondie. I think they’re trying too hard to make her a strong, take no nonsense woman that will be a match for Lincoln and the other guys, but she actually just comes off as a cardboard cut out that irritates the hell out of me.